Tuesday, 28 April 2009
Advice for Students
Studying Tips
As all students know it is vital to reference and it is difficult to walk the line between referencing and plagiarism. So I have a few tips:
When you need to take a book from the library always take the oldest, most battered book that you can find (on your subject matter) because it’s been in circulation for so long that all the relative parts that apply to your coursework/exam have already be underlined/highlighted by all the students that went before you.
As all students know getting out of bed is hard and actually turning up to University is even harder. So if you can’t be bothered with going to the library to find the books you need to reference simply go to GoogleBooks. Here you can search random words and Google brings up those books, then you simply copy what you need into your assignment.
Money Tips
Steal! Wait one second though, I’m not saying you should start mugging old ladies in the park at night, I’m also not saying you should stick up the lovely couple that own the shop at the end of your street. Steal things that are usually free, for example my wonderful friend Adam French used to steal rolls of toilet paper from University. Genius!
Sleep! Students have the reputation for being lazy and sleeping all the time. I’ve met energetic students that say stupid things such as; “Why sleep when there’s so much to do?” These students are idiots and are likely to have a heart attack at 30. Sleep is a student’s best friend. It costs nothing, plus while you sleep you’re not eating, which saves on food, which in turn saves on money.
Have you ever been bored enough to read the packaging that your food comes in? Probably not because you have a life, but luckily for you; I don’t (have a life) and I do (read the back of food packaging). On the back of everything from a packet of crisps to tins of beans there is contact information for the businesses that make these foods. What you do is email or write to them complaining about their food and they’ll be nice enough to send you some coupons. Score!
Getting drunk for cheap. I have already compiled a list of ways to get drunk for cheap, but seeing as your students, I’ll let you in on one more way because you’re the only people (apart from tramps) that are likely to do this. In this eco-friendly world of ours we now recycle our cans and bottles in a special bin (for example mine is blue). Luckily, let of drink and backwash collect at the bottom of these bins (along with other juices – I warn you) All you need is a bit of hosepipe or a long straw and voila ... Ben’s Backwash Booze Bin Cocktail!
As all students know it is vital to reference and it is difficult to walk the line between referencing and plagiarism. So I have a few tips:
When you need to take a book from the library always take the oldest, most battered book that you can find (on your subject matter) because it’s been in circulation for so long that all the relative parts that apply to your coursework/exam have already be underlined/highlighted by all the students that went before you.
As all students know getting out of bed is hard and actually turning up to University is even harder. So if you can’t be bothered with going to the library to find the books you need to reference simply go to GoogleBooks. Here you can search random words and Google brings up those books, then you simply copy what you need into your assignment.
Money Tips
Steal! Wait one second though, I’m not saying you should start mugging old ladies in the park at night, I’m also not saying you should stick up the lovely couple that own the shop at the end of your street. Steal things that are usually free, for example my wonderful friend Adam French used to steal rolls of toilet paper from University. Genius!
Sleep! Students have the reputation for being lazy and sleeping all the time. I’ve met energetic students that say stupid things such as; “Why sleep when there’s so much to do?” These students are idiots and are likely to have a heart attack at 30. Sleep is a student’s best friend. It costs nothing, plus while you sleep you’re not eating, which saves on food, which in turn saves on money.
Have you ever been bored enough to read the packaging that your food comes in? Probably not because you have a life, but luckily for you; I don’t (have a life) and I do (read the back of food packaging). On the back of everything from a packet of crisps to tins of beans there is contact information for the businesses that make these foods. What you do is email or write to them complaining about their food and they’ll be nice enough to send you some coupons. Score!
Getting drunk for cheap. I have already compiled a list of ways to get drunk for cheap, but seeing as your students, I’ll let you in on one more way because you’re the only people (apart from tramps) that are likely to do this. In this eco-friendly world of ours we now recycle our cans and bottles in a special bin (for example mine is blue). Luckily, let of drink and backwash collect at the bottom of these bins (along with other juices – I warn you) All you need is a bit of hosepipe or a long straw and voila ... Ben’s Backwash Booze Bin Cocktail!
Happy 1st Birthday!
Exactly one year ago today I was sad and high enough to create this Blog. And despite my best efforts to kill myself with drink, drugs and unprotected sex with 80 year old whores, I’m still here Blogging. When I created this Blog, I never expected I’d stick at it and also I thought that people wouldn’t read it seeing as whenever I bought up the topics (I’ve covered) in the ‘real world’ people looked at my as if I’d just molested and eaten a kitten in front of them. But it’s nice to know that people out there are just and sick and pathetic as me.
The original idea was for me to do a mega-post today, but sadly I’ve been distracted by my shitty life! And much like birthday’s of my family members I forgot about the Blog’s birthday until the last minute, so these few Blogs I post today are the equivalent of a crappy birthday card and half dead bunch of flowers from the all night garage.
The original idea was for me to do a mega-post today, but sadly I’ve been distracted by my shitty life! And much like birthday’s of my family members I forgot about the Blog’s birthday until the last minute, so these few Blogs I post today are the equivalent of a crappy birthday card and half dead bunch of flowers from the all night garage.
Saturday, 18 April 2009
Why I Hate ... Sutton-in-Ashfield
When you hate something for so long and you live with the hate on a day to day basis you begin to forget why you began hating that very thing in the first place. If you remove the thing that causes you hate the hatred slowly dwindles too, until you once again come in contact with it, are you following?
Well basically, growing up as an insignificant child in an insignificant town makes you quite ... insignificant and also makes you hate the very place you are from. When I was young I had many reasons to hate Sutton-in-Ashfield, but as time passed I forgot these reasons, seeing as I lived in Derby and I began to hate Derby instead. On a recent trip back to Sutton, my hate was reborn for the shitty little town.
It’s easy to hate a place in which BNP meetings take place and there’s so much panic that all the takeaways have to close fearing they will be attacked because their skin isn’t the same colour as milk. It is also easy to hate a place where the McDonalds is so infested with idiots that some days there’s actually security on the doors and riot vans in the car park, this doesn’t even happen at most pubs in Sutton. It’s a shameful disgrace when it seems that people are close to getting beaten half to death or stabbed over their happy meals. Where sentences like; “You spilt my milkshake, I’m gunna fuck you up!” or “Oi, you eyeing up my burger, cunt?” are commonplace.
And no matter how much the council pathetically attempt to make the place look any better, it always fails. The first example is the sundial. For those that don’t know (and presumably don’t care) Sutton has the largest sundial in Europe in the town centre. Which sounds dull, and it is. The point of a sundial in a town that sees no sun is lost on me. I don’t know if this was meant to attract people to the town, there’s not much excitement in seeing Europe’s largest sundial. It’s just that overtime this sundial became a place for flocks of Chavs to hang out and it remains that way to this day.
The latest attempt at making Sutton better is be revamping the bus station. To a massive cost of £850,000! As the rest of the country complains about the credit crunch and plummets into a recession, it seems that the news is yet to reach Ashfield councillors. As Co Coun Stella Smedley said; "We are committed to improving Sutton's bus station and encouraging more people to make the most of public transport, which is cheaper and kinder to the environment than driving a car."[i] Although I believe the closest Stella Smedley has ever come to a bus is looking like the back of one! The fact is one of the only joys of Sutton is leaving and if you make that more attractive (by building a new bus station) to the population they will eventually abandon the place that has held them back.
That’s the real reason I hate Sutton, it held me back.
Well basically, growing up as an insignificant child in an insignificant town makes you quite ... insignificant and also makes you hate the very place you are from. When I was young I had many reasons to hate Sutton-in-Ashfield, but as time passed I forgot these reasons, seeing as I lived in Derby and I began to hate Derby instead. On a recent trip back to Sutton, my hate was reborn for the shitty little town.
It’s easy to hate a place in which BNP meetings take place and there’s so much panic that all the takeaways have to close fearing they will be attacked because their skin isn’t the same colour as milk. It is also easy to hate a place where the McDonalds is so infested with idiots that some days there’s actually security on the doors and riot vans in the car park, this doesn’t even happen at most pubs in Sutton. It’s a shameful disgrace when it seems that people are close to getting beaten half to death or stabbed over their happy meals. Where sentences like; “You spilt my milkshake, I’m gunna fuck you up!” or “Oi, you eyeing up my burger, cunt?” are commonplace.
And no matter how much the council pathetically attempt to make the place look any better, it always fails. The first example is the sundial. For those that don’t know (and presumably don’t care) Sutton has the largest sundial in Europe in the town centre. Which sounds dull, and it is. The point of a sundial in a town that sees no sun is lost on me. I don’t know if this was meant to attract people to the town, there’s not much excitement in seeing Europe’s largest sundial. It’s just that overtime this sundial became a place for flocks of Chavs to hang out and it remains that way to this day.
The latest attempt at making Sutton better is be revamping the bus station. To a massive cost of £850,000! As the rest of the country complains about the credit crunch and plummets into a recession, it seems that the news is yet to reach Ashfield councillors. As Co Coun Stella Smedley said; "We are committed to improving Sutton's bus station and encouraging more people to make the most of public transport, which is cheaper and kinder to the environment than driving a car."[i] Although I believe the closest Stella Smedley has ever come to a bus is looking like the back of one! The fact is one of the only joys of Sutton is leaving and if you make that more attractive (by building a new bus station) to the population they will eventually abandon the place that has held them back.
That’s the real reason I hate Sutton, it held me back.
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