Has this big issue with living a healthier life gone too far? I’m serious. I fully understand that eating, exercise and all that good shit is important but do I need it shoving into every orifice of mine like I’m some molested child.
Everywhere I turn it’s “lower salt content”, “now with less sugar” or “the healthier option”. I’m fucking tired of it. Pretty much every major food brand is jumping on the bandwagon, in fear of being left behind or possible judged! Soon enough I really believe that salt shakers will feature a logo scrawled across them that reads; “Now with 50% less Salt”, it’ll come in the same size tub, it’ll be the same price, but when you get it home and open it, it’ll only be half full! And there won’t be anything you can do about it because you’re fucking stupid enough to buy it in the first place! You twat!
This whole “5 a Day” bullshit never really took of with me. Five fruit or veg a day! I barely manage five different fruit or vegetables a week, never mind in a 24 hour period! And I’m quite sure I also came across some information that said when should be having 3 different wheat-based foods everyday too. What a crock of shit. Can’t people just eat what they want? Yes people are getting fatter, so what? Does it matter? We’re over-populated anyway; if everyone eats healthy there’ll be less heart disease, less strokes and more people. And not just normal people, but more healthy people. I fucking despise healthy people. With their nice bodies, excellent diets, cancer free lungs and livers that work properly, fuck you and fuck you’re fully functioning livers you fuckers!
But it’s just not food that been contaminated into this healthy culture, it has spread into all aspects of life. For example, dog food now comes with little vegetables in it. But why? Surely there’s no reasonable explanation for this other than idiotic middle-class health nuts will start buying it thinking that it will keep their dogs healthy. For as long as I can remember dog food has been made up of meat, because that’s what dogs eat. Look at a close wild relation to dog, let’s say the fox (I know wolves would have been a better choice but we don’t have wolves in the country). How many times have you heard a farmer say; “Damn fox got into the carrot field last night, bloody thing made off with six carrots” ... I understand that you may not chat with many farmers which leaves it ever more unlikely, but the point is foxes eat chickens not carrots. Someone pointed out to me that they knew of a dog that ate vegetables, by that he meant scraps. I had a dog that ate his own shit. Dogs eat everything and anything. A dog would probably eat a used tampon if you waved it in its face, doesn’t mean it should eat tampons, used or otherwise.
But the worst thing I have seen relating to health is TSB’s Financial Health Specialists! Financial HEALTH? Not financial HELP, but financial HEALTH!!! Since when did health have anything to do with finances? My money’s not feeling under the weather, it doesn’t have swine flu, it doesn’t exercise, it doesn’t eat ... so it needs no new diet plan. What the flying fuck has health got to do with my fucking finances TSB? Answer me that, please? Is there an answer? Or are you just trying to leech off people’s insecurities that are being created left, right and centre? Are you simply using a word that triggers off a chain reaction in people’s minds; “I eat my 5 a day, I exercise, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I even buy my dog the food with vegetables in; I’m healthy. My dog’s healthy. But what about my finances, they’re not healthy, I better get down to TSB straight away!” What the fuck does a Financial Health Specialist do? Apart from laugh at the fucking idiots that come to then once they’ve left? Fuck Financial Health Specialists! Fuck TSB! And fuck this healthy culture, I’m fucking sick of it, fuck it in the face, with no protection, ‘cos that’s how I roll ... un-motherfucking-healthy!
1 comment:
Post a Comment