Are you a Gangsta Rapper?

The world of Gangsta Rap is over-populated to say the least, with new artists trying to get involved everyday. But I have took it upon myself to put together an examination for wannabe Gangsta Rappers to take to see if they have what it really takes to make it in the industry.

1) It is rumoured that Jimmy the Crackhead has been informing the authorities about your illegal activities. What do you do?

a) Write him a letter asking him if the rumours are true.
b) Confront him face to face and ask him politely.
c) Ignore the silly rumours, they’re probably not true, Jimmy’s a nice guy really.
d) Go and pistol whip that motherfuckin’ snitch!

2) You are at a nightclub and you ask a girl to dance, she refuses. What do you do?

a) Move on to the next girl.
b) Go and sit down and order another Orange Juice.
c) I wouldn’t be found in a night club.
d) Call her a “Stank-ass hoe” and glass her with a bottle of Hennessy.

3) You get your record advance, its $25,000. What do you do with it?

a) Put it in the bank, best not to spend it all at once.
b) Buy something nice for your mother.
c) Give a little to charity.
d) Spend $15,000 on crack, distribute that, double you’re money then buy some jewellery and a nice car with them rims that spin!

4) Another up-and-coming Gangsta Rapper ‘disses’ you on a track. What do you do?

a) Update your Twitter page saying; “I heard [artist’s name]’s track. I like it, there’s no animosity at all.”
b) Settle the ‘beef’ with a nice phone call.
c) Bless him and pray that God guides him in the correct path.
d) Run up in his baby mama’s crib, tape that bitch up and trash the whole motherfuckin’ house, ‘cos you ain’t no motherfuckin’ punk and you ain’t takin’ that shit from a bitch-ass-motherfucker!

5) What is your ideal day? Choose from the following;

a) Not waking until noon, a nice cup of tea then maybe a nice long walk later.
b) A trip to the library to get out a couple of books.
c) Read some of the Bible, then have a little prayer.
d) Getting brain from Shaquenta the neighbourhood chicken-head, drinkin’ some 40s, smokin’ some blunts then maybe a drive-by later.

6) Out of the following list, which is your favourite movie?

a) American Beauty
b) Carry On Camping
c) Anything with Tom Hanks in.
d) Scarface

7) Out of the following, Who is most likely to be your idol?

a) George W Bush
b) Karl Marx
c) God
d) Tupac

8) Which of these words best describe you?

a) Law-abiding citizen
b) Loving husband and dedicated father
c) Pope
d) Hustler

9) Out of the following which is most important?

a) Friends & Family
b) World Peace
c) Going to Heaven
d) Bling

10) Are you a Gangsta Rapper?

a) No
b) Don’t think so
c) No, I’m a man of God.
d) Yeah, boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!

If you answered mostly A’s;
You’re not a gangsta rapper, but you are a nice member of society. You may never have a multi-platinum selling Hip Hop album, but you’re less lightly to die in a hail of gunfire.

If you answered mostly B’s;
(See above)

If you answered mostly C’s;
You are the Pope, you should be doing you’re Pope business and not taking Quiz’s online! You are not a gangsta rapper and God doesn’t exisit (thought I’d let you know).

If you answered mostly D’s;
You are a gangsta rapper, congradulations, motherfucker! You could have a multi-platinum selling album, but seeing as the scene so over crowded you probably won’t.