“...
mate, look; Facebook; straight sucks ...”
OK,
let me start out by pointing out that this is probably going to be
highly hypocritical as the majority of the traffic to this site comes
via Facebook, but I've been dining out on the hand that feeds me for
twenty-eight years so far, so fuck it.
So
for as long as I can remember – and remember I can't remember much
– I've had a lessening interest in good old Facebook. As an
antisocial bastard, I've always been slightly uneasy with the idea of
site, but obviously I opted in due to peer pressure because that
never pointed me in the wrong direction before [Line added while
proofreading with a beer and zoot]. Over the years it's been good
to me, but just recently I've distanced myself from it.
But
why Ben?
At
first I thought it was due to my selfishness – an attribute I've
always used as my major influence in decision making times – has
grown, therefore leaving me to care slightly less about the people I
went to school with and their troubles and woes. But no, that's
always been in the case.
In
fact that was part of the attraction of Facebook; to be
ever-so-slightly stalking people from your past to see how miserable
their lives had become, in turn boosting your own confidence due to
your life being marginally better than theirs. We all do it. That's
probably due to the no-holds-barred spree of accepting friend
requests when joining. We all took the role of an unpopular kid
throwing a party; letting anybody that wanted to enter; into your
little online social circle, despite the fact you never cared for
them and vice versa.
What
was great is you could basically watch a relationship blossom and
then crumble from the comfort of your PC chair;
- Stacy is in a new relationship with Bob.
- A few loving updates from both, ridiculously over-using emoticons.
- Then one day; Stacy posts “grrrrrrr men!”
- An hour later, Bob posts; “bitchez b trippin”
- The stage is now fully set to watch these two idiots argue it out on good old Facebook for all of us to bask in.
It
was all the fun of Jeremy Kyle without the agony of Jeremy Kyle
himself. But then something happen, I'm not sure what, maybe people
wizened up to sharing every intimate detail of their lives or maybe
I've been cut off from those Facebook Friends in a cull. Or maybe,
just maybe, users took a shift from sharing their own personal lives
to simply sharing other 'content'.
Now,
when I go online to check to see if Stacy and Bob ever got back
together, or whether or not Bob had finally started paying the child
support, I can't find anything in my news feed besides reposts of
LADBible, shitty Vines and links to dubious websites filled with
random lists like; “Top 10 Child Actors that Turned to Drugs”. So
I'm going to take it on myself to explain; nobody cares about this
shit people! I already follow LADBible on Twitter, I don't need to
some cunt on Facebook reposting every-fucking-thing they post, the
only Vine I watch is my own sex-tape and I couldn't give a fuck about
those websites that list things in top 10s but make you click to each
next page for the continued countdown.
Facebook
has gone from 'connecting with friends' to sharing bullshit that's
posted elsewhere online. You see, this is where the hypocrisy begins,
because the likeliness is you clicked a link on Facebook to get to
here, almost making the irony of my argument to ridiculous to bare.
But I'll defend myself; I'm sharing my content. Me; Ben Broughton, I
[poorly] wrote these words, this isn't the latest online fad that
will dwindle in a few months time [this is my eighth year, I'm
starting to think it'll never catch on]. But this is an extension of
myself I'm sharing with you [kinky] and I'm doing it via
Facebook so my friends can connect with it, because they're unlikely
to check my blog everyday for updates due to my sporadic updates, I
don't even think David B******** has this as his homepage anymore.
You
see, I do this because I enjoy it, I share it with others so they can
hopefully enjoy it too. I don't beg people to repost or comment
because I'd hate for my content to become that very content I
despise. Yes, I could simply perform a cull and remove the dead
weight from Facebook, but I've much better things to do with my time,
like write, play with Fiona or watch paint dry [I'll share the video
on Facebook later, if you want to check it out], but more
importantly, if I did remove these people from Facebook they may not
have stumbled across this blog, and maybe, just maybe, I'm talking
some sense to them.
Or
maybe I'm not. So in the mean time, if someone could keep tabs on
Facebook and let me know when it changes I'd be very happy.
Thanks
for your time.
And
remember to REPOST, SHARE and COMMENT, you fucking sheep.
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