All About the Down-and-Outs

I remember once that I was in Derby city centre, I was sat on a bench smoking a cigarette on my own. Then I witnessed a homeless man delving into a bin. He pulled out a pizza box, inside it were two stale slices of ham and pineapple pizza. This sickened me to no end. This instance shows the problem with society, I’m not talking about the homeless man having to eat stale food from a bin, I am of course talking about pineapples being on pizzas, it’s just not right people!

I would like to use this blog to talk about homeless people or the seamen stain on the pants of society, as I like to think of them. I’m sure being homeless is hard, I once locked myself out my house for a couple of hours and it was not fun so I think I fully understand what it is like to be homeless. Of course one problem with homeless people is they are everywhere. It seems like I can’t walk from point A to point B without coming across one. The second problem is they always want money, not just do they want money, but they want MY money. Sometimes, I do actually feel ‘compassion’ for these shop doorway dwellers (these moments of compassion are usually when I’m intoxicated or drug induced) and I do give them some money. But why is it as soon as you give them a penny then transform into an auctioneer; “Do you have 20p, I’ve got 20p I’m looking for 50p, 50p? Anyone? 50p? I’ve got 50p, I’m now looking for £1, any takers? You at the back … £1?” and so on. I think it is about time that these beggars cut the bullshit too. I’m tired of hearing; “Can you lend me 10p for a phone call?” Who are these people calling? I’m willing to bet that homeless people don’t know many people with phones. Homeless people befriend other homeless people, much like people with homes befriend other people with homes. Homeless people don’t have phones; I’m willing to bet 100% of homeless are also phoneless. Plus you can tell these haven’t actually made a phone call for years seeing as the minimum amount of money you can now put in a public phone is much more than 10p. We know what you really want the money for; drugs! Heroin, crack or crystal-meth! We’re not stupid. I’d be more willing to hand over my money to a beggar if they just told me straight; “Dude, I need a fix, any chance you can help me out?” I can actually connect with people on this level, I’m a drug addict, you’re a drug addict, and I understand what you are going through. I can completely understand that homeless people need drugs. When you’re hobbies are sleeping rough, retrieving food from bins and stinking of your own piss, drugs are the only thing you have to cheer you up. In fact, if you are homeless (which you’re probably not seeing as you have internet access – but this is hypothetical) and you aren’t depended on some type of substance you need to re-evaluate your life. Things aren’t going too well, maybe drugs are the answer. It’s not like drugs are going to make life much worse.

I would now like to take aim on a certain type of homeless person. The homeless people that have dogs. What the fuck are they thinking? They can barely feed themselves but still they have a pet. I fail to see the point of this. Is the dog for protection? I highly doubt it seeing as all the homeless dogs I see look as if they have severe cases of HIV. These dogs can hardly stand never mind defend their soiled masters. Is it for more pity? This nation is admittedly an animal loving nation and the introduction of a poor dog is likely to pull on the heartstrings of any true Brit. Maybe homeless people think that having a pet will increase their ‘profit’, but I like to think that the only thing that changes is they receive more tins of dog food. That they inevitably have to eat themselves, leaving the dogs starving. Or maybe I’m wrong; maybe homeless people make a steady income breeding dogs for Korean restaurants. Although this argument seems floored seeing as I don’t see many Korean restaurants around. It truly is a mystery to me and will remain that way, seeing as every time I ask a homeless person about the matter they get extremely aggravated. Sure, you can look down on them, not give them money but heaven forbid you inquire about their dog; it’s like asking a woman how much she weighs.

An other thing I’ve noticed about the ‘property impaired’ is the amount of racism there seems to be within their world. How come I never see any homeless Asian people? Talk about segregation! I thought that people with nothing would be more sympathetic to others, but no. Apparently Asians aren’t allowed to be homeless. This is despicable, so remember that next time you give some money to a tramp, you’re supporting racism!


On a more serious note, while we are on the subject of homeless people I'd like this chance to promote my good friend's Blog; Bart Brodzki's Photoblog It features some brilliant images of homeless people and other images too. Of course it's a great Blog seeing as I only surround myself with greatness.