Gordon Brown Should Die!

Let me just start out be saying I’m in no way plotting to kill the Prime Minister (yet, I’m waiting for Cameron to get in).

Gordon Brown was forced to wait in the wings for Tony Blair to retire for so long. He must have had sleepless nights for years. Just waiting and waiting and waiting. Then after following America to into a never ending war Blair finally stepped down and Brown stepped up. His time had finally come.

That was then, this is now.

Gordon Brown could quite possibly go down as the worst Prime Minister this country has ever had. The poor one-eyed bastard! It was a failure from the get go.

Without a doubt the odds have been stacked against him. Firstly I’ve seen carpets with more charisma than the guy and that’s not good for someone leading a country. Secondly, he got into power without being voted in, so it’s not like he was wanted in the first place. So he had to try and win us (the British public) over, but that never really happened.

Some much shit has gone down; floods, credit crunch, recession, MPs expenses, his own party plotting against him, most of his party abandoning him, losing the local elections ... Yes he can’t be blamed for much of it. But he’s in charge so he gets the blame.

Clearly things haven’t gone to plan for Gordon. But I have come up with a plan for the man. He must die. The only thing to save Brown now is death.

I’m not saying suicide. In no way I am hinting that the man should kill himself.

But what I’ve just recently learned is no matter what you’ve done (or what people think you’ve done) in the past, it will all be forgotten as soon as you die. I am of course talking about Michael Jackson.

Jacko, as some people (to lazy to type/say his full name) call him, is dead (thought I’d make that clear in case you’ve somehow not yet picked up a newspaper, watched TV, listened to the radio, logged on to the internet* or had any social interaction with another human over the last couple of days)! Now people and the Media are mourning this guy like he was the second coming of Christ.

A man famous for making music, but somehow managed to spend more time defending himself in court over charges of molesting children than he did in the studio recording albums. A man so against the norm that he ‘de-tanned’ from birth. For fuck sake the man dangled his child out of a hotel window (I bet you forgot about that one didn’t you?!).

Now, I was never a fan of Jackson, I understand that he made (what some would call) great albums. I know that you don’t get the title “King of Pop” by accident, just like you don’t get labelled a ‘paedophile’ over many years by accident. But I seem to feel that before he passed away he wasn’t really that popular. I know he still had his die hard fans, but amongst the general public, nobody really gave a flying fuck about the guy. When was the last time you were moon-walking to Billie Jean before he died? Yeah, I fucking thought so!

It reminds me slightly of Jade Goody. She was hated, she got ill and see was being labelled the “People’s Princess”! The Media is to blame of course, for pushing these ‘celebrities’ down our throats 24/7, but while I choke on the shit they feed, a large amount of people eat it up. This is the way it goes now; death is the best thing to happen in your career. Goody kept feeding the newspapers what they wanted for a fee. Jackson’s sales have gone through the roof. I’m willing to bet he’s made more money in the last five days than he has in the last five years.

This is what could happen to Brown. If he dropped dead right now, the newspapers and TV would mourn him. They’d be calling him “One of the Greatest PMs we ever had”. His death would create his legacy. All the rest of it would go out the window (like Jackson’s kid).

... either that or nobody would care.

*I understand that by reading this you have logged on to the internet, but maybe you have my Blog set as your homepage, so hypothetically speaking this would be the first time you read it!