I’ve started to notice a couple of people posting this shitty “News” story about England shirts being banned from pubs on Facebook, and comments following about “turbans should be banned”.
The following message was taken from on of many people’s status updates;
POLICE ARE GOING AROUND PUBS AND CLUBS SAYING THAT WE CANT WEAR OUR ENGLAND TOPS 4 THE FOOTIE & GOTTA TAKE THE FLAGS DOWN AS IT IS UPSETTING THE PEOPLE THAT DONT COME FROM HERE !!NOW IM NOT RACIST , BUT THIS IS TAKING THE FUCKING PISS! THIS IS OUR COUNTRY AND WE NEED 2 MAKE A STAND IF YOU / THEY DONT LIKE IT GO AWAY! WOULD YOU REMOVE UR TURBAN & BURKHA BECAUSE IT UPSETS ME, IF YOU AGREE POST THIS AS YOUR STATUS
Of course this story didn’t just crop up from anywhere, it based around a news article that featured in The Sun, although it took a right-wing, Nationalism, Nick Griffin turn by the time the story made it’s way to Facebook.
From the article featured in The Sun;
---------------
Killjoy cops have urged landlords to bar anyone wearing a Three Lions top.
They want to avoid a repeat of violence which has marred previous events, particularly if England lose.
But one patriotic fan said yesterday: "We often hear of a loss of pride in Britain, now cops want to ban the England shirt.
"It's like saying anyone who wears one is a yob."
The advice comes in a letter from the Metropolitan Police to pubs in Croydon, South London.
Among World Cup guidance, it suggests "dress code restrictions - eg no football shirts".
It also urges using plastic glasses and door staff.
Pubs are not obliged to follow the advice, but it warns: "Police will not hesitate to use powers under the Licensing Act should we find you are not actively supporting the prevention of crime."
Other forces could follow, but licensees' spokesman Bill Sharp said: "The World Cup should be a chance for people to enjoy the football in the pub." The Met said: "These are suggestions to make pubs safer."
------------------
Dissection of this article;
“Pubs are not obliged to follow the advice”
It’s not a fucking law. Police can’t stop you from wearing a football shirt. You’re a fucking idiot if you thought this was possible. This is not yet a police state in which law stop people from wearing football shirts. It’s just that football shirts are often linked to violence. I’m willing to bet plenty of shopping centres are advised against letting in youths wearing hoodies, but nobody attempts to start a right-wing Facebook group on their behalf.
“It also urges using plastic glasses and door staff.”
Clearly this is advice to stop violence occurring in the pub, I can’t understand how at some point this simple advice has turned into people blaming the Islamic community or other minorities.
Dissection of the Facebook post:
POLICE ARE GOING AROUND PUBS AND CLUBS SAYING THAT WE CANT WEAR OUR ENGLAND TOPS 4 THE FOOTIE & GOTTA TAKE THE FLAGS DOWN AS IT IS UPSETTING THE PEOPLE THAT DONT COME FROM HERE !!NOW IM NOT RACIST , BUT THIS IS TAKING THE FUCKING PISS! THIS IS OUR COUNTRY AND WE NEED 2 MAKE A STAND IF YOU / THEY DONT LIKE IT GO AWAY! WOULD YOU REMOVE UR TURBAN & BURKHA BECAUSE IT UPSETS ME, IF YOU AGREE POST THIS AS YOUR STATUS
The first thing I notice about this is that the grammar is terrible, now I often make mistakes when typing, but I’m one person, it’s hard to pick up on your own mistakes when reading over what you’ve written. Although people have been copying and pasting this over and over again, yet nobody took the time to make the correct amendments;
“THE PEOPLE THAT DONT COME FROM HERE !!NOW IM NOT RACIST , BUT THIS”
Should be written;
“THE PEOPLE THAT DON’T COME FROM HERE! NOW I’M NOT RACIST, BUT THIS”
There’s plenty more mistakes, but you’re probably clever enough to spot them.
Let me just point out that; THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MUSLIMS, like the above post has been leading people to think. If we all just take a minute to look over it we may be able to figure that out using a little thing called logic.
“POLICE ARE GOING AROUND PUBS AND CLUBS SAYING THAT WE CANT WEAR OUR ENGLAND TOPS 4 THE FOOTIE & GOTTA TAKE THE FLAGS DOWN AS IT IS UPSETTING THE PEOPLE THAT DONT COME FROM HERE !!”
If we stick with the theme of the post we get the feeling that Police are we can’t wear football shirts in pubs because they offend Muslims. Of course we already know that Police are only advising against the wearing of shirts from the article. Yet the thing that seems most perplexing is the fact that Muslims want them removing because they are offensive, of course when we use that ‘logical thinking’, we come to the point in which we ask; “Why? Why would Muslims be offended by this when they are barely ever in clubs and pubs, after all it’s against their religion to drink alcohol.”
NOW IM NOT RACIST , BUT THIS IS TAKING THE FUCKING PISS! THIS IS OUR COUNTRY AND WE NEED 2 MAKE A STAND IF YOU / THEY DONT LIKE IT GO AWAY!
The immortal words; “Now I’m not racist”, always drawn out as a precursor to something racist. Of course as I’ve already argued there are no people being massively offended by what happens in a pub, apart from the police, worried about violence between England fans. “This is our country,” if you’re not being racist why do you label England our (as in the white population) country, it’s no more yours than theirs.
WOULD YOU REMOVE UR TURBAN & BURKHA BECAUSE IT UPSETS ME,
Now, I’m not a massive fan of religion, it does cause problems, yet at the same time it does plenty of good. And all the major religions are old and stooped in tradition, so the thought of comparing a football shirt with a piece of religious artefact is preposterous. Religion is often a study of the way to live your life, football is a bunch of overpaid individuals kicking a ball around. There is a massive difference.
I also struggle to see how an England shirt can cause offence. If people are offended by something that represents England, they must spend their days going slowly insane, seeing things that represent Britishness; Fish & Chip shops, rugby shirts, cups of Tea, red telephone boxes, red letter boxes, bulldogs, pregnant teenage girls … These things are inescapable.
So to some up; this advice to ban football shirts from pubs is all to do with that favourite British past-time; hooliganism.
The fact is people drown out in there masses to pubs, get pissed out their faces and when England eventually lose they start smashing shit up and acting like a complete cunt. Nothing to do with Muslims what-so-ever, they’re simply being used as a scapegoat again and people still fall for it.
Friday 28 May 2010
Friday 14 May 2010
Mild Irritations (Volume One)
Now regular readers will know that I’m not the type of person that’s easily rubbed up the wrong way (pun intended). Yes, there are a few aspects of modern life that irritate me to the point of total despise for them; Starbucks, Primark, Capitalism, Tories and Civilisation as a whole, yet there are a couple of other nagging aspects that niggle away at me.
Lateness
Time is a construct, probably one of the greatest, most mind-boggling, mathematical subjects ever. I have no idea how some smart bastard all those years ago decided how many seconds would go in a minute and how many minutes would go in a hour and how many hours would go in a day … (I could carry on, but I’m assuming you get the picture). Time as a working concept is brilliant, we should all knee before its absolute awesomeness. The thing is, plenty of humans inhabiting this water-filled rock hurtling through space, can’t seem to work around time’s confines. I can forgive a few minutes here and there, but if you’re over 15 minutes late we have a serious problem. Being late irritates me to the point that I don’t want to be conceived as someone that is late, so I often turn up early, so if I’m meeting someone that is late, they may be 15 minutes late, but I could have been waiting around 25-20 minutes for them. Those fucking scumbags! Time is important, much like your virginity; once it’s gone, it’s gone FOREVER. It’s also like your virginity because you often lose it on the wrong person.
Yes, I do know you. I know you’re always late. You know you’re always late! Why don’t you fucking make it so you can be in the designated meeting place at the designated time? It’s on you to turn up on time; it’s not on me to turn up late. 8.00pm! 8.00pm! We agreed to meet at this time, you fuckwit. It’s not a rough estimate. It’s the chosen time!
When my pizza is delivered late, I get it for free. So maybe people that arrive to meet me late should give me something. What that something would be, I don’t know. I assume I’d have to decide because if someone is unable to understand the simple task of being at a certain place at a certain time they’re probably lacking the brain cells to decide on a gift to present me with.
Of course, I have to make exceptions for my loved ones. Not my mother, nor my girlfriend, but for the one and only; Adam French (my BFAM; Brother From Another Mother). Adam French is to lateness what Bill Hicks was to stand-up, what Pele was to football, what George Best was to drinking and what Ben Broughton is to premature ejaculation. Not only has he took turning up late to new levels, he has redefined it to preposterous, unconceivable dimensions. He has thrown off the previous shackles of time that all other humans live by, instead he conducts his day according to his own time; ‘Frenchie Time’. He may say he’ll meet you at 6.00pm Sunday, and you may not see him until 4.00am Saturday, it’s just the gamble you take.
So there we have it, people turning up late is a mild irritation. A major irritation, to the point you think you may have to change your name and flee the country is; periods being late! A late period is around a BILLION times worse than a simple individual turning up late.
Mismatching Cutlery
We are a civilised people. We no longer dine by forcing food down our gullet with our bare hands, unless eating fast-food, snacks or fruit. We have knives, forks and spoons. These utensils make it easier to eat such things as roast dinners, too keep our hands from getting burned or all horrible and sticky. Obviously this is something I have become accustomed to. Yet, I do prefer my knife and fork too match. And when I say “prefer”, I mean “NEED”. I’m not a fucking barbarian, who serves up food and gives out cutlery that doesn’t match? Idiots! I understand at this point I may come across as some sort of up-tight, pompous toff, but I’m not, I’m far from it. I don’t need everyone’s cutlery to be the same as each other; I don’t care if their knives and forks match individually. I just need mine to be identical.
Here I should provide you with a reason. But alas, there isn’t one. It’s just the bloody way it is, OK? There’s no deep routed disturbance at work. It’s not like my father left my mother one day after sitting down to dinner to discover his knife and fork displayed different patterns. Nothing in my life has affected me in a way that I have any feasible reason or justification to have such an irritation, I just need it too be that way, it makes dining a much more enjoyable experience. Try it and you’ll agree.
Lateness
Time is a construct, probably one of the greatest, most mind-boggling, mathematical subjects ever. I have no idea how some smart bastard all those years ago decided how many seconds would go in a minute and how many minutes would go in a hour and how many hours would go in a day … (I could carry on, but I’m assuming you get the picture). Time as a working concept is brilliant, we should all knee before its absolute awesomeness. The thing is, plenty of humans inhabiting this water-filled rock hurtling through space, can’t seem to work around time’s confines. I can forgive a few minutes here and there, but if you’re over 15 minutes late we have a serious problem. Being late irritates me to the point that I don’t want to be conceived as someone that is late, so I often turn up early, so if I’m meeting someone that is late, they may be 15 minutes late, but I could have been waiting around 25-20 minutes for them. Those fucking scumbags! Time is important, much like your virginity; once it’s gone, it’s gone FOREVER. It’s also like your virginity because you often lose it on the wrong person.
“Well you know me, I’m always late!”
- Some Cunt
- Some Cunt
Yes, I do know you. I know you’re always late. You know you’re always late! Why don’t you fucking make it so you can be in the designated meeting place at the designated time? It’s on you to turn up on time; it’s not on me to turn up late. 8.00pm! 8.00pm! We agreed to meet at this time, you fuckwit. It’s not a rough estimate. It’s the chosen time!
When my pizza is delivered late, I get it for free. So maybe people that arrive to meet me late should give me something. What that something would be, I don’t know. I assume I’d have to decide because if someone is unable to understand the simple task of being at a certain place at a certain time they’re probably lacking the brain cells to decide on a gift to present me with.
Of course, I have to make exceptions for my loved ones. Not my mother, nor my girlfriend, but for the one and only; Adam French (my BFAM; Brother From Another Mother). Adam French is to lateness what Bill Hicks was to stand-up, what Pele was to football, what George Best was to drinking and what Ben Broughton is to premature ejaculation. Not only has he took turning up late to new levels, he has redefined it to preposterous, unconceivable dimensions. He has thrown off the previous shackles of time that all other humans live by, instead he conducts his day according to his own time; ‘Frenchie Time’. He may say he’ll meet you at 6.00pm Sunday, and you may not see him until 4.00am Saturday, it’s just the gamble you take.
So there we have it, people turning up late is a mild irritation. A major irritation, to the point you think you may have to change your name and flee the country is; periods being late! A late period is around a BILLION times worse than a simple individual turning up late.
Mismatching Cutlery
We are a civilised people. We no longer dine by forcing food down our gullet with our bare hands, unless eating fast-food, snacks or fruit. We have knives, forks and spoons. These utensils make it easier to eat such things as roast dinners, too keep our hands from getting burned or all horrible and sticky. Obviously this is something I have become accustomed to. Yet, I do prefer my knife and fork too match. And when I say “prefer”, I mean “NEED”. I’m not a fucking barbarian, who serves up food and gives out cutlery that doesn’t match? Idiots! I understand at this point I may come across as some sort of up-tight, pompous toff, but I’m not, I’m far from it. I don’t need everyone’s cutlery to be the same as each other; I don’t care if their knives and forks match individually. I just need mine to be identical.
Here I should provide you with a reason. But alas, there isn’t one. It’s just the bloody way it is, OK? There’s no deep routed disturbance at work. It’s not like my father left my mother one day after sitting down to dinner to discover his knife and fork displayed different patterns. Nothing in my life has affected me in a way that I have any feasible reason or justification to have such an irritation, I just need it too be that way, it makes dining a much more enjoyable experience. Try it and you’ll agree.
Monday 10 May 2010
I Download. Illegally.
Downloading things for free is stealing. We all know this. Yet, unlike shop lifting, it’s so much easier and you’re less likely to get caught. Plus, it doesn’t affect your conscience, much like pushing over a toddler when nobody’s looking, or is that just me? These two reasons are why illegally downloading is so great.
In my personal opinion, if you have a computer and you’re not downloading illegally, you’re not using your machine to the best of its abilities, and you shouldn’t even be allowed a computer in the first place. Music, Films, Software, Games … it’s all within your grasp. An unending amount of entertainment at your figure tips. It wants you to download it and enjoy it for free. So do it, do it now (but come back to read the rest of this Blog)!
Welcome Back.
There is of course numerous ways to download (maybe I should have pointed these ways out before telling you to go and download something – we live and learn), I’ll list them off for you n00bs (that’s internet slang for ‘newbie’ btw … and so is btw, it means ‘by the way’); File sharing programmes like LimeWire, although they’re a hotbed for viruses, and getting a virus on your computer is like getting a virus on your cock, you really don’t want it there and you’ll do anything to get rid of it, although you can’t reinstall your penis to it’s default setting, trust me. File sharing websites such as Rapidshare or Megaupload are decent, but these often have limitations on how much you can download and premium accounts are available at a cost; although if you know where to look you can recuperate your money in a matter of minutes (depending on your download speed). Then there are torrents. I’m not 100% sure how they actually work, mainly because I just don’t give a shit and if I knew how everything worked, I wouldn’t spend my days being cynical about how things work. With so many options you’re spoilt for choice when it comes to wanting to steal some information.
A lot of people believe that downloading is selfish! That people that do it are horrible and only looking out for themselves. This is of course not true, it takes an extremely kind person to rip a DVD, then upload a DVD and share it with people for absolutely nothing. These honourable people go out of their way to do these things, and for what? There’s no money to be made on their part, they do it because they’re just nice people. If you ask me doing something such as this is the complete opposite of selfish… it’s selfless. If you were in town and someone approached you and gave you £5, you’d probably suspect something was up but once you realised they were being nice, you’d go on your way and buy some heroin … or whatever you spend your money on. Then as you lay back later that day, you’d think; “Wow, that was nice of the stranger to give me something for free, what a selfless act. Man, I’m fucked up!”
But what about these companies losing out?
Are they losing out? We live in a time in which you can download a film that’s just been released in a smidgen of time that it takes you to drive to the nearest cinema. But if your film is good enough (or the promotion for it is good enough) people will still go and see it. Look at Avatar, its broken records worldwide; people are flocking to see it like it’s the second coming of Christ or something else that people would gather to look at. Products are still making vast amounts of cash in this downloading era of ours. Artists are still selling albums, left, right and centre. 50 Cent’s little bastard child isn’t going to starve just because you downloaded his shitty album instead of buying it. Most of these companies putting out films/music/software/games are huge conglomerates anyway, they’re not going to go bust because there’ll always be people buying something they put out.
I still buy DVDs, in fact I’ve starting buying more DVDs recently, because although I advocate downloading, I still like to have a hard copy of something if I deem it good enough, it’s just that the majority of media being produced is below standard. That is why things such as HD and 3D are becoming so prominent, the content isn’t improving but the viewing standards are. A classic film, is a classic film, HD or 3D doesn’t or won’t make it better. A film such as 12 Angry Men (which I hadn’t seen until I downloaded it) would be no better from these innovations.
I especially don’t see anything wrong with downloading shows produced by the BBC. I do see something wrong with the BBC putting out DVDs and making people pay full price for them. These shows wouldn’t have been aired in the first place if it wasn’t for us paying for our TV licence. It’s a travesty that the BBC is able to put out DVDs and charge the same price as other DVDs. It’s like going to ASDA, buying your food, going home but having to pay ASDA extra money every time you eat some of that food. BBC DVDs should be free or just expensive enough that the BBC can recuperate money from the manufacture of the DVDs, no profit should be made.
Piracy funds Terrorism?
I’ve heard this wild claim a couple of times before and to be honest it’s a massive lie. Anyone that’s ever bought a pirated DVD has never bought it from a terrorist. Abu Hamza isn’t locked up for selling dodgy DVDs, is he? How can piracy fund terrorism when Osama Bin Laden is still putting out videos? He hasn’t even updated to DVD yet. I get the idea that when Al Jazeera get a video from Bin Laden there’s a massive scramble around in an old dusty cupboard in which a bunch of runners and junior researchers desperately attempt to find a VHS player. I mean, Osama doesn’t even have a YouTube page. I mean, come on Osama; get with the times, grandpa. No MySpace, no Twitter, not even a Facebook page! I’ve gone off on a bit of a tangent here and I’m starting to forget what my point is, but anyway, I’m standing by my previous convictions of what-ever-it-was I said.
In my personal opinion, if you have a computer and you’re not downloading illegally, you’re not using your machine to the best of its abilities, and you shouldn’t even be allowed a computer in the first place. Music, Films, Software, Games … it’s all within your grasp. An unending amount of entertainment at your figure tips. It wants you to download it and enjoy it for free. So do it, do it now (but come back to read the rest of this Blog)!
Welcome Back.
There is of course numerous ways to download (maybe I should have pointed these ways out before telling you to go and download something – we live and learn), I’ll list them off for you n00bs (that’s internet slang for ‘newbie’ btw … and so is btw, it means ‘by the way’); File sharing programmes like LimeWire, although they’re a hotbed for viruses, and getting a virus on your computer is like getting a virus on your cock, you really don’t want it there and you’ll do anything to get rid of it, although you can’t reinstall your penis to it’s default setting, trust me. File sharing websites such as Rapidshare or Megaupload are decent, but these often have limitations on how much you can download and premium accounts are available at a cost; although if you know where to look you can recuperate your money in a matter of minutes (depending on your download speed). Then there are torrents. I’m not 100% sure how they actually work, mainly because I just don’t give a shit and if I knew how everything worked, I wouldn’t spend my days being cynical about how things work. With so many options you’re spoilt for choice when it comes to wanting to steal some information.
A lot of people believe that downloading is selfish! That people that do it are horrible and only looking out for themselves. This is of course not true, it takes an extremely kind person to rip a DVD, then upload a DVD and share it with people for absolutely nothing. These honourable people go out of their way to do these things, and for what? There’s no money to be made on their part, they do it because they’re just nice people. If you ask me doing something such as this is the complete opposite of selfish… it’s selfless. If you were in town and someone approached you and gave you £5, you’d probably suspect something was up but once you realised they were being nice, you’d go on your way and buy some heroin … or whatever you spend your money on. Then as you lay back later that day, you’d think; “Wow, that was nice of the stranger to give me something for free, what a selfless act. Man, I’m fucked up!”
But what about these companies losing out?
Are they losing out? We live in a time in which you can download a film that’s just been released in a smidgen of time that it takes you to drive to the nearest cinema. But if your film is good enough (or the promotion for it is good enough) people will still go and see it. Look at Avatar, its broken records worldwide; people are flocking to see it like it’s the second coming of Christ or something else that people would gather to look at. Products are still making vast amounts of cash in this downloading era of ours. Artists are still selling albums, left, right and centre. 50 Cent’s little bastard child isn’t going to starve just because you downloaded his shitty album instead of buying it. Most of these companies putting out films/music/software/games are huge conglomerates anyway, they’re not going to go bust because there’ll always be people buying something they put out.
I still buy DVDs, in fact I’ve starting buying more DVDs recently, because although I advocate downloading, I still like to have a hard copy of something if I deem it good enough, it’s just that the majority of media being produced is below standard. That is why things such as HD and 3D are becoming so prominent, the content isn’t improving but the viewing standards are. A classic film, is a classic film, HD or 3D doesn’t or won’t make it better. A film such as 12 Angry Men (which I hadn’t seen until I downloaded it) would be no better from these innovations.
I especially don’t see anything wrong with downloading shows produced by the BBC. I do see something wrong with the BBC putting out DVDs and making people pay full price for them. These shows wouldn’t have been aired in the first place if it wasn’t for us paying for our TV licence. It’s a travesty that the BBC is able to put out DVDs and charge the same price as other DVDs. It’s like going to ASDA, buying your food, going home but having to pay ASDA extra money every time you eat some of that food. BBC DVDs should be free or just expensive enough that the BBC can recuperate money from the manufacture of the DVDs, no profit should be made.
Piracy funds Terrorism?
I’ve heard this wild claim a couple of times before and to be honest it’s a massive lie. Anyone that’s ever bought a pirated DVD has never bought it from a terrorist. Abu Hamza isn’t locked up for selling dodgy DVDs, is he? How can piracy fund terrorism when Osama Bin Laden is still putting out videos? He hasn’t even updated to DVD yet. I get the idea that when Al Jazeera get a video from Bin Laden there’s a massive scramble around in an old dusty cupboard in which a bunch of runners and junior researchers desperately attempt to find a VHS player. I mean, Osama doesn’t even have a YouTube page. I mean, come on Osama; get with the times, grandpa. No MySpace, no Twitter, not even a Facebook page! I’ve gone off on a bit of a tangent here and I’m starting to forget what my point is, but anyway, I’m standing by my previous convictions of what-ever-it-was I said.
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