#kimjongilfacts

I'm on Twitter, I joined in a hope that it'd be useful, something I could use when making hilarious off-the-cuff comments. But usually when I utter a rib tickling one-liner amongst friends I just sit there soaking up the gratitude from those within ear shot, instead of pulling out my phone to share it with my massive legion of [24] followers. Anyway, here's a little theme I had going; Kim Jong-il Facts; 100% made up, I started this on the 18th October, then when Kim died other Tweeters jacked the hashtag and started posting true Kim facts.

Kim Jong-il’s rap name is Kim Jong-illest

Kim Jong-il’s rap aliases are Kim Jong-iller, Kim Jong-illin’ and Lil’ Kim… Jong-il

Kim Jong-illest's first track was a diss to Kim Hwang-sik, entitled; "I'll end your Korea"

Kim Jong-illest's 2nd track was also a diss to Kim Hwang-sik, entitled; "I'll leave you Seoul-less"

North Koreans refer to pulling a whitey [from too much weed] as being Kim Bong-ill

Kim Jong-il's first film role was as a giant monkey that savages South Korea in "Kim Kong-il"

Kim Jong-il is so self-obsessed that his internet homepage is http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/

Contrary to popular belief; Kim Jong-il has never been lonely/ronery

The questions from Kim Jong-il on Ask Rhod Gilbert are actually from the Dear Leader, he also gets a writers credit & paid

#Gadaffi is dead. Kim Jong-il doesn't care and isn't worried

Coca Cola isn't sold in North Korea, instead they sell Kim Kola; made entirely from Kim Jong-il's sweat

Kim Jong-il hosts North Korea's highest rated cooking show; "Ready, Steady, Crufts"

If you flip a North Korean coin (featuring the image of Kim Jong-il) it will land on heads 100% of the time

Kim Jong-il was set to join the NK squad vs Uzbekistan, but FIFA blocked it as Kim's boots are made from solid gold

Kim Jong-il; "Dear Leader" is a mistranslation, it's actually "Deer Leader" as he is able to communicate with the animal

Kim Jong-il has won North Korea's Got Talent for 3 years running

Kim Jong-il's 1st Year on North Korea Has Talent; He disproved the existence of Democracy while juggling kittens

Kim Jong-il's 2nd Year on North Korea Has Talent; He acted out 12 Angry Man in it's entirety, playing all roles

Kim Jong-il's 3rd Year on North Korea Has Talent; He sat in a chair for five minutes

Hennessy Cognac shares have taken a nose dive after the death of Kim Jong-il

I was tweeting #kimjongilfacts, before the man died, cos I'm cool like that, anyone doing it now was simply scared of any repercussions