Letter to God

Dear ‘God’,
Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to log on to the greatest Blog on the internet. I understand that it must be hard to find time to read this, seeing as you’re always up to something and you’re nonexistent. I just thought I’d write to you seeing as we haven’t spoke in some years. I know we’ve lost touch; of course this isn’t your fault. I place the blame directly on my shoulders, but also some blame lies with science and Richard Dawkins (did you read his book?).

Just recently I’ve been wondering if you could possibly do some of those miracles that I heard so much about at school. The world seems to be quite fucked up at the minute and I blame you. Religious people seem to have gone crazy, is it possible that you could smite them all? If you don’t I will simply take that as a sign that you don’t exist and I will take it upon myself to rid the world of religion. Which is a big task, but I’m willing to kill a few thousand people every other Sunday … I don’t have Church to go to or anything else to do, so I may as well.

I’ve been thinking of starting my own religion. That’s the main reason I’m writing this. I wanted a few tips. I know it’s going to be hard to live up to the standards that you set, I mean I can’t make a world or humans (I’m firing blanks). Well I can’t just yet, but you never know what scientists will come up with next. Sorry, I mentioned scientists; I forgot you don’t like them much, because of their logical thinking and theories on Natural Selection! But to be fair, if you didn’t want us to figure out you didn’t exist you shouldn’t have made us so clever. Maybe if you made every human with limited thinking abilities it would be a better world. A world filled with Redneck-American types. In which we all followed our lives to a really old book, which some other Redneck-American types wrote a long time ago. But then again, that book would never have been written, because Redneck-American types can’t write, so I suppose there’s a method to your madness! You see, these are the things I’m over looking! So how should I start up my religion?

The basic idea for my religion is that there is no God, crazy I know. Well there’s no God living in Heaven, in fact there is no Heaven or Hell. The only type of deity is the one inside us all. I’m going to teach my followers that our religion doesn’t want war with people because what they believe is wrong, something you should mention to your followers. Also in my religion, there will be nothing to worship. Followers not have to go to a certain building at any point. They don’t need to do anything apart from treat each other and everyone else with respect and try to do good things. This is what religion should be like. There is no need to dedicate yourself to your belief so much. People should dedicate themselves to themselves and each other, that is how progression is truly made.

Yours sincerely, Ben Broughton