The Misadventures of Moz the Spoon Burner

Once upon a time in a little place called Lemo lived a man named Moz. Moz was a Spoon Burner. If Moz wasn’t burning spoons he was thinking about burning spoons or coming up with ways to burn spoons.

Me and my friends met Moz the Spoon Burner a few years ago and although he liked to burn spoons and he was twice our age we still spent time together.

This story involves Moz getting caught burning spoons. It was a usual evening at our secret headquarters (Graham’s Caravan), when there was a knock at the door. Graham opened it and discovered Moz. Graham invited Moz in and as he entered I noticed he was carrying his plastic bag of tricks. Moz went everywhere with his reliable plastic bag.

But today Moz was just making a quick visit to see us because he had a problem. ‘What was his problem?’ I hear you cry, well Moz had a major problem, but he wasn’t willing to admit it! His other problem; the one that he recognised and the reason for his appearance at the caravan, was that he needed a spoon to eat his yogurt. He dipped into his plastic bag, which always seemed to be bottomless to me, he carried everything he owned in that plastic bag, and pulled out his yogurt as if he was trying to prove something to us. Graham quickly filled Moz’s request for a spoon. But surprisingly Moz didn’t stay with us to enjoy his yogurt; he had to make his way. So he wondered into the evening with his plastic bag and newly acquired spoon.

Sometime passed and later on that evening Moz returned to regale us with his actions after he left the caravan. It turns out that Moz went to the local ASDA disabled toilets to devour his yogurt. Which is understandable, I don’t like people watching me eat so I often go to a public toilet with wheelchair accessibility to consume my snacks, I’m sure all of you have done the same in the past.

Apparently the staff at ASDA don’t like people consuming yogurts in their toilets and they entered while Moz was in there. And those yogurt eating hating bastards started to quiz Moz over his spoon. He went on to clearly explain to the ASDA staff that he had the spoon so he could eat his yogurt. Unfortunately for Moz and Graham’s cutlery collection, the people at ASDA didn’t believe Moz so they confiscated the spoon.

At this point Moz apologised to Graham for losing his spoon. But it don’t not all end badly, because those people at ASDA didn’t want Moz to go hungry so they gave him a plastic spoon, which he passed on to Graham.

So there we have it people, a Misadventure of Moz the Spoon Burner. I’m not sure if this story had a moral attached to it, it probably does, but that’s for you to discover for yourselves.