Friday 11 March 2011

An in Depth Look into the Governments Decision to Remove Cigarette Displays – by a Twat

Be gone free choice, we pitiful human beings can longer be trusted with you. We’ve had you and look at what some of us have gone and done; we’ve chosen to smoke. Yes, we’ve decided to take up a habit the increases our chances of getting a long, long list of diseases. We’ve picked an addiction that now leaves us castrated from the rest of society and their non-black lungs – but do you know what, we still don’t give a fuck because we still look cool.

So after adding written warnings to cigarette packets, an advertisement ban, adding graphic [warning] images to cigarette packets and introducing a smoking ban – it seems like the war against smoking has stepped it up a gear again; cigarette displays will soon be removed from shops. [I would have put an emoticon sad face here, but I’m not a twelve year old girl – unless I’m in chat room ;-) lolz XxX]

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that stopping people smoking seems like a good thing. I suppose we’ll get a healthier nation; people will live longer and be able to pay more tax. Plus less people will be ill, that means there’ll be less of a burden for the NHS – just in time as it looks like plenty of staff will be out of a job soon.

I see a lot of people saying that this is all for the youth of today, they’re too easily grasped by the evil hands of nicotine. Kids will be kids. Some will smoke, some won’t. People act like this is a new craze, it’s been happening for years. My great-grandmother started smoking around her mid-teens and carried on for the rest of life until it was cut short in her 90s – imagine how long she would have lived if she never picked up the habit.

The thing I can’t understand is the logic behind removing cigarette displays. All the previous laws introduced do have at least some sense behind them, but this is completely lost on me. As for forcing tobacco companies to package their product in plain packaging – what the fuck is that about? No, honestly. Can someone tell me? I understand that the designs on cigarette packets is all cool and stuff [apart from the pictures of tumours and shit] – but if cigarettes are to be kept under the counter soon, why on earth would you need to put them in plain packages? It’s like gouging a blind man’s eyes out. Is it in case someone catches a glimpse of them before the customer puts them in their pocket or handbag? Does the sight of cigarettes offend people that much, or is it that if a young impressionable child gets a sight of the shiny packet they’ll instantly want to start smoking?

Let kids smoke is what I say - they’re all little, ungrateful, idiotic cunts anyway [according to most media outlets] – they don’t deserve to live a long and fruitful life.

Yeah, I’ve reached a point in which I don’t know how to finish things off, as this was just a quick exercise, so here’s a list of other ways [that one day may be introduced by government] to stop people from smoking;

- Sowing people’s mouths closed, making all food in liquid form and have the entire population communicate by sign-language.
- Ban lighters and matches so smokers have to light cigarettes by bashing bits of flint together or rubbing a stick on another stick.
- Fitting designated smoking areas will sprinkler systems that go off over five seconds.
- Whenever a customer purchases some cigarettes a loud alarm goes off alerting everyone in the shop – much to the embarrassment of the customer.
- Breaking the fingers of smokers and would-be-smokers so they can’t spark up.
- Douse individuals in petrol so they can’t spark up – although the way petrol prices are rocketing this is doubtful.
- Nuke us. Just set off a nuclear bomb that kills us all. Then the only smoking we’ll be doing is that of our charred remains.

Until next time – when I’ll spend time and attention towards something good.

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