Ben on Bin

Osama bin Laden from Al-Jazeera’s popular ratings grabber; “Jihad Hour” television show has been shot in the face Call of Duty style. America has finally nabbed the Worst’s Most Wanted Man, although it’s kind of a hollow victory to say that, as they are the ones that bestowed that accolade on him in the first place.

Everyone has an opinion on the death of Osama bin Laden and the way it [/he] was executed by the American dudes [can’t remember what they were; Navy Seals I think], so you’ve read theirs, so here is mine;

Should They Have Killed Him?
I have never killed a man, check my non-existent police file if you don’t believe me. I’m not sure what it takes to kill another man, although weapons and ammo would logically be the best place to start. I think, please remember my education on military action comes from watching Band of Brothers and Saving Private Ryan, taking him alive would have been better, yet I was not invited to take part in the raid of his lair [you have to call the house he was staying in a lair – it drives home the impression he was a criminal mastermind, the sort of villain James Bond would fight in one of his terribly predictable films], probably because my armed forces knowledge is based around TV and film. I would say taking him alive would have likely provided more information on al-Qaida via waterboarding which is very different from wakeboarding, yet I always think they’re the same thing. If they were able to capture him maybe eventually we’d [the public] would have got to see a photo of him in his underwear just like Saddam Hussein – remember that? How funny was that?

Was it Right to Shoot an Unarmed Man?
When I first saw the headline, I thought it read; “Bin Laden Unharmed”, I instantly thought he was some super human, or some kind of deity, that he really was chosen by Allah and that it was time to convert to Islam. Thankfully, I’d just misread the word, he was unarmed, as in he had no weapons. One newspaper [The Sun, I think] went with the headline; “Bin Laden Unarmed like his victims on 9/11 and 7/7”, which I’m not sure about, guns are very popular and easy to come by in the States, I’m willing to bet a couple of people that died that day were packing heat, but that’s besides the point.

It has been stressed that Bin Laden could have been wearing a suicide vest, which is true, he could have been, yet that makes me think if this is likely he’d have to wear a suicide vest constantly. I know the man was dedicated to the fall of the West and global Islam, but wearing a suicide vest all the time? It’s a lot to ask, especially when you’re living in a ‘safe house’.
But was it right? Face it, if anyone deserves to be shot unarmed it is Osama Bin Laden [from a Westerners point of view anyway]. Of course from the other point of view this action is easy to propagate into terrorism by America.

Should They Have Buried Him at Sea?
This topic is causing problems. Some are saying that it wasn’t fitting with Islamic tradition; others are saying he doesn’t deserve any right to have a traditional burial. As I keep saying I have never killed a man, yet if I did I would be in quite a rush to dispose of the body, it’s like Murder 101. Maybe this is what happened with the Osama’s corpse, plus who’d want a decomposing body on their ship? Not me, that’s for sure. How can you enjoy a good game of shuffleboard with a fucking cadaver stinking up the fresh sea breeze? The argument for burying him at sea was that his grave could become a shrine for extremists. I don’t know if American intelligence [and I use that term loosely] know this but; you can create a shrine for someone anywhere, not just of their graves. I’ve created numerous shrines to the girls/women I’ve been stalking over the years. Those shrines made up of locks of hair, toe nail cuttings, blurry photos and used tampons were always constructed in my wardrobe, not once was it on their shrine made on their grave, even after they all died under strange circumstances … like I’ve said; I have never killed a man. The American’s apparently tried to pawn off his body to Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, yet shockingly they didn’t want it. America’s relationship with these two countries isn’t exactly great, trying to shift off his body to these is like calling in a favour from a Facebook friend [you accept yet have no contact with, they’re just there to bunk up your friend count] to help dispose of the body of that Jennifer girl you’ve been stalking.

Did Pakistan Know He Was There?
I have no idea. Next question.

Should America Release the Photos?
Not the ones of Pippa Middleton in a bikini – because we all want to see those, but the ones of a dead Osama. It is believed that releasing the photos would cause outrage in the Arab would, you know, like killing him DIDN’T! It would be nice to see some proof, as conspiracy theorists are always going to deny it was Osama, now they have good reason too. I don’t think it should stop at the photos, I want to see the video feed captured on one of the troops head-cam, that apparently Obama was watching [not sure if it was the President, at first it was then apparently it was someone else watching it, relaying to the Head of State – the story changes so much, spurring on conspiracy theorists]. We got to see Saddam die, why not Osama too? America has released some DVDs/Videos captured from Osama’s ‘mansion’ today, but they’ve removed the audio as the speeches may rally extremists because as we all know Arab people can’t lip-read! The videos released apparently feature bloopers too – which I joked about via Facebook the day of his death.

Was it Worth it?
Well American’s were celebrating in the streets, which I can understand to a certain degree. The man has become to the face of terrorism and now he’s gone. Now we have to wait and see what will transpire next. A warning has already been put out that terrorists could respond to the death of their leader – so the world is no safer without him. America is now attempting to hunt down Bin Laden’s number two; al-Zawahiri, so it’s clear that the War on Terrorism is far from over – plus Americans will always need someone to hunt down so they can withhold their positions in the Middle-East. Of course it is likely that just because you’ve removed the head of al-Qaida there’s nothing from it growing another one, like Jeebs the pawn shop owner from Men in Black.

Obama has received a rise in popularity in the polls due to Osama’s death. Which is good for him, I suppose. Nick Clegg could have single-handedly captured Osama, bought him back to England in a headlock and still wouldn’t have seen his popularity rises in the local elections.

Whatever your opinion on Bin Laden, keep it to yourself, because all this talk of it is getting old, at least when the Royal Wedding was in the news I could check out pictures of Pippa Middleton’s lovely bottom.