Winner of Game of Thrones [Ben's Predictions]

Game of Thrones... or simply 'Thrones' to us in the know [unlike Jon Snow], is a worldwide phenomenon, everyone and their mother watches, although due to the amount of sex scenes I'd highly recommend not watching it with either parent. And as the television show rapidly approaches surpassing the events in the books it's based on, everyone and their mother[s] are starting to make predictions on what will happen over the coming season[s]. Now, I'm not usually one to jump on bandwagons, but I'm hoping on this one to Kings Landing, and hopefully I'll reach it in time to see whomever will be sitting on the Iron Throne by the end of the story... but whom shall be sitting on the throne in the end?

And by the Seven Gods, these are my Seven Predictions. 

"I'm just an innocent kid, do I deserve to die?"

Tommen 'Baratheon'

I like how it's basically a given in most people's minds that the Baratheon [or Lannister incest off-spring] are expected to fall for 'whomever' in the end and we totally disregard the likes of Tommen even though he's swimming in one of the best gene-pools in all of Westeros. His mother; Cersei is most certainly not one to be meddled with, his biological father; Jamie is one of the greatest knights and swordsmen on the globe, his uncle; Tyrion has one of the best minds for politics in the land and his grandfather; Tywin was a strategical mastermind. If Tommen has one or a mix of any of these Lannister traits it's probably best not to count him out yet. If he manages to avoid the same fate of Margaery Tyrell's first two ['King'] husbands and with a little guidance he could remain on the Throne indefinitely … although he obviously won't, poor Tommen! 

Maybe Gendry & Arya can 'bridge' the Seven Kingdoms?

 

Gendry [Baratheon] & Arya Stark
There's a reoccurring theme of these two houses never really being able to finally link up. Robert Baratheon was engaged to Ned Stark's sister; Lyanna; yet they never married due to her kidnap and eventual death. The series kicked off with the promise of the Houses finally joining when it's planned that Sansa Stark and Joffery Baratheon are to be wed, yet that eventually all falls through – obviously this would have only linked them via name as Joffery isn't actually Robert's child and instead is a product of incest.

These two – although currently split-up – do have chemistry and history together, which helps this theory, the obvious fact that hinders this ever happening is that we haven't seen Gendry in a long while, since he set off in a boat with help from the Onion Knight; Davos Seaworth.

Clearly if Gendry is to return to Westeros he'll need some back up with him to take on all the other motherfuckers trying to get into that extremely uncomfortable looking chair. That's why I'm suggesting he's been on his own little adventure to... some place... let's call it Easteros, there he met the locals; individuals [of what we'd describe as East-Asian], luckily these people have invented a strange substance; gun powder... but seeing as this is GoT it'll probably be called; 'Powder of Fire' or 'Dust of Explosion' or some shit like that.

As for Arya, her future amongst the God of Many Faces seems dubious so maybe she'll get a Seeing-Eye-Dire-Wolf and leave Braavos. Although she seems on a mission to encounter every religious faction going in the GoT world, but hopefully she'll stop messing around, get her shit together and link back up with Gendry.

 

Would you ask him to get off the Throne?

Petyr Baelish
Let's face it; Littlefinger is such a manipulative cunt he basically the humanoid version of Cersei Lannister's vagina. Littlefinger is so conniving, he could call “tails”, flip a double head[ed] coin and still win... somehow. I think I probably like Baelish due to the fact my house-mate reckons I could play a younger version of him.

But the dude has talents and he has his eye squarely on the prize. He has an excellent talent on stocking up favours and doing whatever it takes to get him one step closer to his ultimate desire and stepping on anyway that gets in his way, he's like a contestant on the The Apprentice with extra evilness.

And although Baelish [probably] has no lineage to the Throne, I still think he could make it. I most likely see him manipulating whomever he has to, to go to war with each other until they're all dead, I mean the entire of Westeros; everyone, apart for little Petyr, then he'll finally sit on the Throne and more than likely pull an extremely smug smirk. Yes, it's unlikely, but if you doubt Littlefinger you're an idiot. 

 

If George gets his way, next time Bran's eyes roll back he not be "Warging".

Brandon Stark
Let's face the facts here, we all love the Stark's as much as George R.R. Martin loves fucking killing them off. One of the very few Stark's that hasn't died [yet] is the second youngest; Brandon or simply 'Bran the Cripple' to his mates.

If it wasn't for Bran and his bloody habit of climbing up big walls, towers and whatever else he could clamber up, he never would've spotted that [sexy] Lannister incest, then got pushed which escalated the Lannister/Stark beef which fed into Robb Stark going to war and whatnot. Only if he'd he'd listened to his mother! So the boy's got some making up to do!

I can't be the only muh'fuckah that remembers his dreams containing flashing images; one being a birds-eye view of a dragon [- should've put “dragons-eye view” that would have been leaning towards clever, never mind, can't change it now -] casting it's shadow over a city [looking a lot like King's Landing]. We all know that Bran can't jump, but he can jump into the mind's of animals [and Hodor] and control them due to the fact he's a Warg. We've seen a few other Wargs, mainly amongst the Wildlings, but they could only control shitty little birds, Bran can control Dire Wolves and he's only a child still perfecting his skills. I suspect that as he wasn't in last season next time we see him they're be a jump in the time-line [as he's a child actor and they have a curse of ageing fast and he'll clearly look older by next] so he could have sharpened his Warg talents by the time we meet again.

This is how I; Ben Broughton sees Bran's future panning out; super Warg skills, dragons arrive in Westeros, he does his thing; controls them to kill the White Walkers [if dragon-glass kills them, dragon-fire is sure to fuck them up too] and their army of the dead, bolts back down South with some swagger and he's like; “Yo bitches, the North remembers, and I've got dragons and shit, so back da fuck up!” [Told you he had swagger], they meet his demands, he's crowned, he's slowly ascends the Iron Throne. Credits roll.

This how him; George R.R. Martin sees Bran's future panning out; DEAD.

That's Rickon... Rickon Stark. RICKON STARK!
The youngest of the bunch! Honestly, he's really in the show!

Rickon Stark
See above [but ignore 'George R.R. Martin' line].

Credits finish. Bonus Scene!!!!

As Brandon Stark slowly sits on the Iron Throne, Rickon pops up from no where and stabs him in the back, while spouting; “You didn't see that comin', did ya, muh'fuckah?” And he becomes King.

C'mon, we all love Stark's, remember?

[Then after that scene you Google; “Rickon Stark”, because it's been so long and he's so insignificant you can't remember him]

Titty Grab!

Sansa Stark & Margaery Tyrell
Male homosexuality often rears it's ugly head in this show – usually to peer over it's shoulder to discover it's getting bummed – but the same can't be said for the lesbian brigade.

These two seem to be extremely unlucky in the marriage department. Tyrell's husband's seem to have an habit of dying on her, while Lady Stark is simply offered up to anyone so they can have a claim to the North. So this would be a decent match, the Tyrell's have the coin and Sansa has the North locked down [or hopefully she will one day].

Plus at least these two seem to get along, this is one of the only [maybe the only] duos we've seen spent screen-time together that actually get along for the duration of their relationship. Think of any other two characters on this show that have spent considerable amounts of time together, they end up bickering or hating each other at some point, but not Sansa and Margaery. With these two it's funny chats with Grandma, strolls in the garden and talking about sex.

Talking about sex; [although I haven't read the books – cos readings for twats, I say to you, as you read this...] I'm surprised George R.R. Martin hasn't written a sex scene with these two lezzin' it up.

Although, maybe he has, and that's the final page/scene; Sansa and Margaery 'consummating their marriage' and the fact they both rule the Realm...
Then Melisandre [The Red Woman] turns up... willing to offer her services to the two Queens of Westeros...
“Your services?” Margaery queries, glancing towards Melisandre, who has just interrupted Lady Tyrell's passionate romp with her newly crowned wife; Lady Stark.
“Yes, my services, my Lady... My Ladies”, Melisandre replies, “I can aid you in your reign of Westeros in any way you see fit.”
A silence dwells on the room, as the rampant smell of lesbian love lingering in the air circulates.
Finally the silence is broken as Sansa sits upright, her left arm clutching at the bed sheet, covering her heaving ample bosom, her right hand gently brushes her 'strawberry blonde' hair back to reveal her lust-filled eyes; “Maybe The Red Woman can service my Red Bush?”

*Lesbian Sex Scene Ensues*

This could be the dirtiest sex scene ever on TV, c'mon, it is HBO afterall. Plus Margaery was married to Renly Baratheon so you know she's up for some anal play, also we've seen a 'smoke ghost[?]' crawl out of Melisandre's cave [in that scene with her and Davos in the vagina], so R'hllor only knows what she'll let someone shove up it!

So the series ends on a lesbian threesome. Credits roll.

Obviously this will almost certainly never happen, I'd guess that there's not much progressive thinking towards same sex marriages in Westeros, [like someone such as myself] and I don't think the majority in the Realm would take too kindly to being ruled over by two dykes... excuse me; women, that's why;

Credits finish. Bonus Scene!!!!

Rickon Stark pops up amongst the lesbian orgy and stabs them all in the back and becomes King!

[Then after that scene you Google; “Rickon Stark”, because it's been so long and he's so insignificant you can't remember him]

"Nothing mate, honestly!"

Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun

“Wun Weg, Who? Dar What?”

The motherfucking giant!

Commonly known as simply “Wun Wun” to the Windlings, but to be fair, he's a bloody GIANT, call him whatever he wants to be called.

Ideally I'm waiting for the Wun Wun spin-off to GoT in which the giant simply attends to normal life in Westeros. Maybe he gets a farm or something and has to win over the affection of the local folk, but while it doesn't seem like that'll happen, he may as well just take the Iron Throne.

Obviously he has no real claim to be King; no lineage, no titles and so forth, but he is a giant, and that works in his favour. Let Rickon try to stab him!

Obviously we all want THIS to be the ending, but now the question is; how do with let our feelings be known?

#WunWunWin? #WunWunFTW? #WWFTW? #WunWunWon! #WWWWWDWD? [What Would Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun Do?]