Why I Hate Social Smokers ...

Let me begin this post by saying; Fuck social smokers. If you don't know what a social smoker is, let me explain; a social smokers is a person that doesn't smoke ... but they do smoke in certain social situations, such as being at the pub with friends.

Now, it's not just social smokers (who I will now relate to as The SS) that get on my tits, it's anyone that does something half-arsed. And The SS are people that do things half-arsed. Being part of The SS is basically saying; "I'm a massive dickhead!!". When it comes to smoking, there's two catorgries people can fall into; smoking and non-smoking. That is it. There is no inbetween. Sorry. You don't get social crack smokers, if you smoke crack, you are a crackhead, simple as that.

I have nothing against non-smokers, I've been trying to become one for years, with no luck yet. But under no curcumstances would I have become a social smoker.

The main thing about social smokers that annoys me is they never buy their own ciggerettes. They always want one or two, or half of MY FUCKIN PACK!! I worked for my money, I spent my money on my cigarettes, I'll smoke my cigarettes, and if I get a tumor. it'll be my tumor. Do you want to go twos on my tumor? Thought not.

The thing about social smokers is I know one day I'm going to get a call from one, and they're going to tell me they have lung cancer. And due to the fact that I provided them with cigarettes they want to know if I'd help pay their doctor bills. Then I have to explain to them that the only reason I provided them with cigarettes is that I was hoping they'd get cancer and die, so I can go out and enjoy a full packet of cigarettes to myself. And that just sounds mean, no matter how you try to sugercoat it.

Personally I never understood the whole smoking in social situations, don't get me wrong I do it. But in my opinion smoking is so much better solo. There's almost something sexual about the whole process, if I ever have trouble getting "up" (shall I say) for sex, I just think about that after sex smoke; "OK. lets have sex then I can smoke". I used to smoke during sex, but had to stop, once the smoking ban was introduced the prostitutes at the brothel began to complain. Herpes infested whores worrying about cigarette smoke, kind of ironic when they've just swollowed my AIDs laced jizz. But anyway, I'm getting off topic.

So, what should we do about The SS? Well what can we do? Nothing really, all I'm suggesting is that if anyone ever classes themselves as a social smoker, just call them a liar. And explain that there's no such thing. Social smokers are like virgins addicted to having sex, they're non-exisitant.