The Most Wasted I Have Got #3

Welcome again to a true life story of me getting too wrecked. Now this story took place when I was the young tender age of 18. Back then I was extremely naïve and stupid.

This story starts with me and two close friends of mine going shopping after school. Me, Tom and Will had finished school early and decided to go to Mansfield (the town next to my hometown) to spend some money seeing as it was pay day for me and Will. After having a wonder around a few shops we decided to head to the pub for a drink. Of course over all the years I’ve known Tom there’s one thing that stands out the most, when Thomas says; “Shall we go have a drink?”, what he actually means is; ‘Let’s getting fucking hammered’. And surprisingly one drink turned into two, two turned into three, three turned into four and so on. We had been out so long that the pub we were in had changed from a pub to a club. It was also a Thursday night, and Thursday nights in Mansfield is student night. We’d been talking to this random guy and had a few drinks with him. Then it got the point that Will and Tom had decided to leave and go home, this is where I made my first mistake by not going with them. So they left and Will had told me to look after his watch that he had lent me. It was a Rolex … but it was fake, of course, he wouldn’t leave me with his real one, something to do with me being a thieving little shit.

As I’ve stated my first mistake was not leaving with Tom and Will, my second mistake was running off my mouth that I’d been paid to a random person I’d just met. So I hung out with this dude for a while and had a few more drinks. Now this is where it gets a little ‘fuzzy’ for me. What I can remember is downing some shots then after that all I remember is being dragged down some stairs by two bouncers while I tried to fight them off some I could get my bag (like I said, I’d just come school). Then I was thrown at the club onto the street. Here is where I made the third mistake of the night by entering the next pub. I bought myself a drink and sat down; I was quickly interrupted by the bouncers of that pub and told that I had to leave once I finished my drink. At least they were nicer than the bouncers in the last pub. Although they wouldn’t even let me sit down because I was falling asleep. So I finished my drink and finally made the decision to go home.

What I remember from here is not much. I remember leaving the pub and walking across Mansfield market. After that I remember getting off the bus in Sutton (my hometown). After that I remember finding myself on my way home. But for some reason I wasn’t walking the usual way, I was going a longer way. I have no idea why. Then the last thing I remember of the night is falling flat on my face. As I lay face down on the cold pavement I noticed I’d smashed Will’s watch on the concrete. I climbed to my feet and told myself I had to get home, I was only about 10 to 15 minutes away.

The rest of this story is made up from what my mother told me. According to my mother I woke her up at gone 1.00am trying to unlock the front door. I then proceed to try and make myself a cup of tea. My mum took over and told me to go upstairs and she’d bring my drink to me. My mum helped me get upstairs, and then she returned to the kitchen to make my tea. Then for some unknown reason I went back downstairs to make the tea myself and my mum had to take me upstairs again.

I woke up the next morning with a massive headache and my brother telling me that my tea was on the floor. As it turns out I’d fell asleep as soon as my mother had bought me my tea.

The story doesn’t stop there, let’s just rewind to me falling over and breaking Will’s watch. The next day when I looked at it the time read 11.30pm. From this I can conclude that I fell over at 11.30pm. And if you have been paying attention I said the point I fell over at was about 15 minutes away from my house. So from the point of falling to my front door, it took me one and a half hours. I have no idea what happened in this time, which is extremely worrying.

The moral of this story is never go for a drink with Tom. And if you do, leave when he does. Also don’t talk to strangers in a bar because I suspect that this guy spiked me in an attempted to rob me later, seeing as I’d been chatting about how I’d been paid. Also if you get thrown (and I mean thrown – catching air and everything) out of a pub you should probably call it a night.