The Pro-Green Dealer

In a society that is slowly becoming more and more obsessed with recycling, buying organic and supporting Fairtrade products, one man has dared to step up and make himself noticeable. That one man is my dealer; Jeff.

Jeff is the UK’s first (and probably the world’s first) Pro-Green drug dealer. Jeff saw a gap in the market and has ceased total control over many other dealers after users have wanted to make a difference by buying his products. Jeff’s income has increased by over 600% because of the recent changes he has made to his business. Customers are shopping each week at their local supermarkets buying organic food and Fairtrade products, so they can feel like they’ve made a difference, so why wouldn’t they want to do the same with their drugs?

Jeff started out selling organic weed, which was grown totally naturally, no pesticides are used and it’s all by natural light, not stuck in someone’s cupboard grown by a lamp. The weed great and gave an amazing high. Anyone that has tried it has recommended it to a friend, and I highly recommend it to you (email me for Jeff’s contact details).

From the weed Jeff branched out into coke. Now this was new to Jeff, but he managed to get contacts of someone in Cuba that was producing Fairtrade cocaine. This coke is made fairly and no-one making it is beaten, killed or any of that nasty shit that goes off in that shit-hole which we call Cuba. Now, I’ve never tried this coke, the only thing that goes up my nose is my right index finger, but I have been told it is incredible. So if lines are what you like, get some from Jeff.

Since then Jeff has been thinking of extending his business further. But he’s not willing to share any details with me, because (and I quote) I’ll “just write about it in my shitty blog”.

One last thing; about recycling. Jeff gives you extra weed or coke if you bring your own baggy, instead of using his.