Tuesday 24 June 2008

What has Frenchie taught me?

I can remember what I was like before I met Adam French. I was a A-grade, choir boy with my career heading towards politics, I was in The Times' most likely to be Prime Minister list in the next 25 years. Adam French cahnged all that for me, he chewed me up and spat me out as a skinny crackhead, heading for a early death due to an overdose or in Prison, as someone bitch!! Thanks Frenchie.

What Frenchie taught me:

- Having gay sex, DOES NOT mean you are a gay/homo/faggot. Straight people can have gay sex too.

- No drugs is really illegal, they're just not taxed, which is why the Government does not allow the use of them.

- You are allowed to have sex with under-age girls if you are drunk. But it is done on a mesaurement, for every pint you have the girl can get one year younger, for example, if I drink two pints I'm allowed to sleep with a girl aged 14. If I drink six pints, I'm allowed to sleep with a girl aged 10, not that I ever would, I get brewers droop after five pints!

- If your last name is a nationality that does not mean you are that nationality, for example Adam French is not French, he's German - I think.

- Avoid soberness at all costs, Adam French likes to brag that he has only got high once. The thing is; he got high for the first time six years ago, but he has yet to come down. His first time getting high was a six year drug binge inwhich he took whatever he could.

- Avoid washing. This is time wasted, you could be taking drugs or having gay sex instead of washing. As Frenchie said himself; "We live in er.... England, man. Like ... and like it rains like most Mondays and sometimes on Wednesday too, man. So just wait for the rain and get rained on, and that'll keep you clean". Wise words indeed.

Frenchie may have taught me alot more, but I've probably just forgot his wise ways.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You left out the most important thing, i taught you how to fuck!

Bastard!

Anonymous said...

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