Scarface Syndrome

This is an appeal. Now I usually don’t use my powers for good, but I’m turning over a new cannabis leaf. There’s lots of problems in the world; war, famine, AIDs, cancer, Jade Goody (although by the time you read this she may no longer be a problem). But there is one problem that the media shy away from. It’s a problem that many people shy away from. But don’t feel guilty, because it’s not your fault. This problem (which you may have guessed from the title) is Scarface Syndrome!

What is Scarface Syndrome?
Scarface Syndrome is condition found in a certain type of person. It attacks many, although most of them are usually male, but it does not discriminate; white, black, tall, small, fat or thin. It forms when a person begins to sell illegal drugs. This person then actually believes they are a drug lord, when in fact all they are is a petty weed dealer. It usually takes form after a person has sold some weed to a couple of people, once they make a profit they think they’re cool, the cycle repeats until a point in which the person gets a little big headed and acts as a go-between. A go-between is someone that often buys drugs from a dealer then sells them on to you. By this I mean, the go-between buys 5 pills, and then sells them to you. They don’t actually deal the drug, in reality, because they don’t stock it, but in their minds they think of themselves as Class A dealers, then the ego inflates a lot more.

What are the Symptoms?

· Loud Mouth
People suffering from Scarface Syndrome often like to brag and boast to anyone that will (or won’t) listen to them about how they sell drugs or are able to get you drugs.

· Undeserved Ego
This is how the syndrome gets it’s name, basically people think they are Tony Montana (from the popular 1983 film Scarface). When in actual fact they’re more like Hannah Montana (from the shit Disney TV Show by the same name).

· Constant Letdowns
Although suffers claim to be able to get you (the drug addict) whatever drug you desire, they often let you down because they’re not the drug lord’s they think they are, they’re simply go-betweens – and not very good ones at that.

How will my donation help prevent this terrible condition?
Firstly we will set up a clinic for suffers of Scarface Syndrome and kit it out with all the necessary shit that it will need; plasma TV, PS3s, Xbox 360s, Sky TV, some MACs, some PCs, the fast internet connection, Porn, Lap dancers and so on. This is bound to cure anyone suffering from Scarface Syndrome. Secondly, we would sent up a Drug Dealers Alliance, which would monitor drug dealers and give them the Official DDA stamp of approval, so all the weed smoking, pill popping, coke snorting junkies out there now that they are not dealing with a sufferer of Scarface Syndrome. We need to stamp out drug sales that involve people with Scarface Syndrome, until they have been cured by out clinic.

So thank you for reading, please make a donation today. And remember, you’re not a drug lord until you have your face in a mountain of coke!