New Year's Resolutions

Welcome to two-thousand-and-eleven or two-zero-one-one or twenty-eleven or twenty-one-one or whatever else this year will be called. To put it simply it's 2011, to put it simply for any Romans reading it's MMXI. A new year is a good reason to begin a new start, to finally make changes to your already shitty life in a hope that by this time next year you not be as miserable.

I thought last year would be the big year for me; “Two-Thousand-and-Ten … The Year of Ben”. Sadly it didn't work out that way, so like a deluded optimist I'm banking it all on 2011 even though it holds no possible rhyme scheme of tying into my birth name – which is probably not a good start.

I've even completed a list of resolutions for the new year, I know that most people do this and most people fail early on. That's why;

Resolution #1: Stick to New Year's Resolutions

Simple and slightly confusing – as going against this resolution could cause a vortex in the fabric of time. At least that's what I'm telling myself as a way of sticking to it like I was lathered up in super-glue and propelled at this resolution at a neck-breaking speed.

I will also capitalise on the dawn of a new year by trying even harder to do something of merit towards an actual career too. While writing is my dream job, it turns out sitting around twiddling my thumbs, getting high and attempting to compile the largest collection of Lily Thai videos possible is getting me no closer to reaching my [main] goal in life. That's why;

Resolution #2: Write Six Brilliant Sketches
Resolution #3: Film My Very Own Sketch

I have so OK-ish sketches and some first draft sketches so far, but a lot more could [and now; will] be done on them. As for filming my own sketch I already know what this is going to be, I know where it is going to be set. I just need the people and also two more lines of dialogue to finish it off. It will then be uploaded to YouTube, get about 12 views (the majority of which will be me, watching it over and over again) – but it's a slight step in the right direction.

Not all my resolutions revolve around writing, one revolves around my future love life;

Resolution #4: Learn Thai (Again)

I've been attempting to learn Thai on and off for a couple of years now, but this year I've got to stick at it, then in a few years time when I have sufficient money saved up (and my looks have started to decline) I can get myself a Thai Bride and be able to communicate with her. The fact that I want a Thai Bride makes me come across as some shallow, horrible old man that's only interested in looks, when that's not true, if I was [that], I wouldn't be attempting to learn a new language now would I? KAPOW!! - Ben coming with the reasons and shit.

Resolution #5: Embrace Buddha

This isn't slang for get high all the time. I am an atheist and while I put up a front that I do hate religion, I think somewhere in their they do have good morals to teach, it just seems those in charge focus on the killing of other religious people and molesting children. If I'm going to throw my weight behind someone it's going to be Siddhārtha Gautama, as he's not a God but a spiritual teacher, that's why I said “Embrace Buddha” not “Convert to Buddhism” - there's a difference people. Educate yourselves... because I don't know enough on the subject matter to tell you what to think yet.

Resolution #6: Read More

Self-explanatory really.

So there we have it. Six resolutions for me to try my hardest at sticking at.

Happy New Year.