Irking Me Off; #2 The Clarkson Problem

I know I'm a little late off the mark with this one, but I don't have to justify myself to you, so piss off.

I'm not going to sugar-coat this; I fucking hate Jeremy Clarkson, in my eyes he's a Daily Mail reader's wet-dream; a middle-class throwback that thinks spouting xenophobic rhetoric is funny... basically he's a typical Cracker-ass Honky. Along with being a Grade-A Cunt.

Obviously like most people my age I mainly know Clarkson from Top Gear. I don't like Top Gear because I don't have much of an invested interest in cars and even if I did, I still wouldn't like Top Gear. To me, the show seemed like a front for three immature grown men to act like children under the disguise of an informative program about motor vehicles. Hey, but I'm not a car guy, so what do I know? That's right; nothing about cars, but a lot more about decent television. But I'll give the man his due he really cornered the market on obnoxious cunts presenting television shows on motors. Kudos, you cunt, kudos.

Now, although I had this disdain for Jeremy, he never really bothered me, I stayed clear of Top Gear and would put up with him when he appeared on the likes of QI. It was a decent set-up we had working until he went and did something stupid and physically assaulted a producer and after that I couldn't escape the cunt like a baby trapped in the womb.

EVERYONE was talking about him. His face was all over the newspapers and not for a good reason like him dying in a high-speed car accident. And I began to feel like one of those ridiculously priced cars he trails... as I was driven crazy! [Fuck off! You try and write car gags without knowing anything about cars!]

People were debating this issue endlessly.
“Would he lose his job?”

“Will the BBC end Top Gear?”
“What will May and that other fucking cretin do without their Messiah?”

And as this whole debate was up in the air, people were signing a petition online to get him reinstated. Now this is something that really irks me, yes, people have the free will to do such a thing, but guess what; it doesn't matter in the end. Not in a case like this. Online petitions are good most of the time, but this one was totally devoid of meaning.

It's not up to the public to make this decision, that falls on Clarkson's bosses. Not the public. Just because the guy is extremely popular doesn't give him free range to do whatever he pleases. He's been on thin ice numerous times before due to borderline racist incidents and always managed to skate away unscathed, but at what point do you keep letting someone off just because they're a big star?

I saw a lot of social media updates along the lines of; “BBC used to cover-up child molestation but Clarkson in trouble for only hitting someone”. What the fuck is wrong with you people? So what? You want the BBC to cover something like this up when it's someone you like, but not if it's someone you don't like? Because Jimmy and Rolf, were as popular as Clarkson back in the day! Or is this down to the actual 'crime'? So punching a producer in the face is OK, but sexually abusing children isn't? [Look I know which is worse, but you can't simply draw a line and pick and choose.] What if Clarkson had molested a child? Would there still be a petition because what else can petrol-heads watch on a Sunday with Clarkson and his two shadows?

The whole concept of this argument is ridiculous. Yes, as stories of sexual abuse that happened years ago come to light it paints the BBC in an extremely bad light... so what should they do? Punish employee's that step out of line, and Clarkson's had enough chances. Fuck him.

I also come into contact with individuals commenting on how supporting James May and Richard Hammond were towards Jeremy. People mentioned they wouldn't do the show without him... well obviously, those two peons owe their success to Clarkson, they'll ride his coat-tails into retirement. I was once in Waterstones and saw a book Richard Hammond had released; the cover featured a large picture of his face and a little tag-line; “The Funny Guy from TOP GEAR... Includes stickers inside so you can make Richard look as funny as you want”. And there were little stickers that you could add on to the cover to make Hammond look as ridiculous as you wanted... so I stuck the sticker of Clarkson's penis over Hammond's mouth and put it back on the shelf. I don't have any real beef with May, he actually seems like a nice guy, but seeing as he doesn't have the moral integrity to step out of Jeremy's shadow; fuck him too.

Then 'celebrities' started to share their opinions. Rupert Murdoch said something along the lines of the BBC would be idiots to get rid of Clarkson. To me that's a massive vote of confidence for the Beeb, because when the most evil man in the world is suggesting you shouldn't do something, you should definitely do it. Then our very own Prime Minister [aka the 2^nd most evil man in the world] came out and said his daughter had gone on a hunger strike until Jeremy was reinstated. I hope the bitch starved to death for her father's part in trying to sway public opinion in a matter that only concerns him because his friend is involved [this is also the only time a Tory has been involved in any kind of striking action]. Seeing as he's technically employed by us, I shall punch him in the face next time I see him as he clearly thinks that an acceptable way to act.

This is what it comes down to; Clarkson did something wrong; he verbally attacked a producer for around twenty minutes and then punched him in the face... why? Because there wasn't any hot food available at a hotel – download the JustEat app, Jeremy! Yet in the majority of public opinion the producer was in the wrong... that's so infuriatingly stupid I want to punch myself in the face repeatedly under I've lost enough braincells to fathom it but if I did that I could end up liking Top Gear. He had to get sacked from the BBC. It's not as if that's the end for him, he has a following, he has a brand, he has his little two minions by his side and hopefully he also has inoperable cancer.

So it'll all work out for him in the end.

But I hope it doesn't.