Friday 19 November 2010

Scient-LOL-ogy [An Idiot's Guide]

What is Scientology all about? I don't know and I can't be bothered to research it either, but from what I can gather it's a type of Religion/Cult that's all about aliens or some-type of shit like that. Despite this fact I'm still going to write a rant about it anyway because that's the kind of stubborn idiot I am.

It seems that Scientology is much bigger in America when compared to England, much like obesity and school shootings [yeah, I went for an American's are fat joke – lame, yet still funny]. There's massive interest in Scientology because a lot of Hollywood stars are involved in the the Religion/Cult. For example most of my favourite shows (past and present) feature Scientologists; That '70s Show, My Name is Earl, Malcolm in the Middle, South Park [but everyone knew that – it's safe to say around 87.6% of what I 'know' about Scientology comes from that infamous episode] and even The Simpsons! I thought the stereotype was that Jews ran Hollywood, seems there may have been a shift. But what is so appealing about Scientology? Again, I have no idea, I have yet to be invited to a Scientology party. But that's fine by me, because I get invited to loads of parties everyday and I don't really give a fuck, because I don't need a Religion/Cult to be cool – I have a Blog, with 19 followers! I am a Religion/Cult!

Maybe this is what is fuelling the interest in Scientology. The majority of the general public is infatuated with what celebrities do. Even I am to a certain degree, and while I don't give a shit about Cheryl Cole [-can't remember her actual surname] changing her hair colour, if you present me with a famous person I have a connection with I become interested. Take Will Smith for example, I've grown up with Will Smith [not out in Philly] being in my life from as early as I can remember. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air taught me how to be cool and also how to structure jokes to offend fat or short African-Americans that happen to be my uncle or my cousin. I watched Will Smith grow from a rapper to a sitcom actor to the biggest movie star in the world. And I will gladly admit that he is the one person on this Earth that is cooler than me. Yet when I read online that he is interested in Scientology I'm suddenly wondering what the big deal is. If Will Smith is on board, Scientology is going to be huge. Of course the biggest poster boy for Scientology is Tom Cruise but to be fair I've never given a shit about Tom Cruise or any of his work. I don't care if he puts in name to a movie cast, if he wants to impress me he should put his name to a suicide note – then I'd be interested.

But I wonder why so many famous people are involved with Scientology. Maybe it's just a new fad for them. I suppose you have a choice of either taking up Scientology or adopting a foreign baby if you're living that lifestyle. Maybe soon enough both these fads will die out and be replaced by something else like having a pet polar bear and always wearing roller-skates, when that day roles around all these actors will dump Scientology and get rid of their 'children', so all these unwanted orphans will be forced to live in abandoned Scientology places of worship. The high life, it's so fickle.

Scientology has come under fire from critics, with some going as fair as saying that brainwashing is involved. To be honest, brainwashing gullible Yanks is like fastening Velcro shoes [I was going to say tying your laces, but then I made it even simpler]. Criticisms come at L. Ron Hubbard; the creator of Scientology. For some reason people think because this man wrote 138 novels that mainly went along the lines of science fiction or adventure, he could have possibly just made the whole story behind Scientology up! You know that story of Xenu the Galactic Confederacy dictator that bought loads of his people to Earth over 75 million years ago... Anyway, some cynical critics believe that the science fiction writer could have made that all up!?

To be fair it seems as it is perfectly fine to throw insults at Scientology, because from the outside looking in it's absolutely ridiculous the thought that we were all planted her by some alien being. But when you step back and compare it to religions we have grown up with, religions that are well established it's no more crazy than any of them. An invisible deity that watches over our every move and every thought – we're just so desensitised to the idea we stop seeing it for what it is; fucking insane. In this respect Scientology is no different from any other religious sect, if people choose to believe in something because it fills a gap in their life, they can. Who are we to say which idiotic belief is more moronic than another? It is my personal opinion that the chance of there being an alien existence dramatically outweighs the possibility of there being an omnipotent being. I'm not saying this alien being will be intelligent, I'm just saying there must be some biological life form on another planet in our universe.

Overall, Scientology is one of the few religions that doesn't inflict wars on other religions, as far as I know they don't make it a habit of slaughtering individuals that hold alternate beliefs. If Scientology is just some type of hustle that parts gullible Hollywood stars with their stacks of dollars, it's doing no real harm to anyone.


Topic Requested by David Batchelor

In the end I did try to educate myself on some aspects of Scientology, I even came across some Wikipedia pages under the ending; 'Scientology versus the Internet' one of those pages was; 'Church of Scientology editing on Wikipedia', although when I went to view it, it was completely empty.

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