Rantin’ on Reactions to Robberies

I’ve never witnessed anyone getting mugged in my time, but I’ve seen plenty of robberies in battle rap. Although, I’ve attained enough knowledge to know that; much like the muggings that happen up and down the country on a daily basis, there’s nothing I can do about a robbery in a battle, I’ve accepted this and it’s time some more Don’t Flop fans do too.

The most recent ‘robbery’ that pops into my head is Mark Grist vs. Zain Azrai [from TTT10]. Now, I’m with the majority on this one, as much as I like Zain, I think Grist totally eclipsed him in the battle and the teacher should have walked away with the W, but he didn’t and life goes on. As much as I love battle rap and have done for years, I don’t get tied into the immature bullshit that takes place on the comments section of YouTube. So I’m going to use this article to stress some points to those of you [idiots] that do.

Firstly, if you don’t agree with a judge’s decision on a battle don’t hit the dislike button, you morons. The Grist/Azrai battle [at the time of writing] currently stands at 659 likes and 2773 dislikes, yet it’s hands down one of the most entertaining battles I’ve ever seen. It’s the perfect type of battle to show to non-battle fans as it breaks previous stigmas set by 8 Mile and goes against the general publics narrow minded views of the entire hip hop genre; I mean, come on, it’s a bloody teacher rapping against a Malaysian joke merchant. Yet, when someone comes to the video and sees its rating they probably won’t even give it a chance and that’s such a shame.

Secondly, don’t go posting hateful comments aimed at the winner of the battle [that you believe was a robbery] because it’s not down them. All they did was turn up and perform. I’ve seen comments on the Grist/Azrai battle, slating Zain to no end. “How irresponsible and pathetic of zain, the dirty fat chinky.” types RhysGB15. Yeah, how irresponsible and pathetic of Zain to travel across the world to partake in something he loves for the enjoyment of others. What a cunt he is!

Thirdly, those of you with half a brain will blame the judges. Congratulations on being slightly more intelligent than the previous batch of idiots, but alas you’re still fools. I’m not inside the minds of judges, but I’ve watched plenty give explanations to camera to understand that everyone is different. Judge #1 may lean towards comedic punchlines, Judge #2 may prefer intricate wordplay and so on. What you need to remember is they’re more respected in this ‘game’ than you keyboard warriors and they’re the ones making quick, on the spot decisions often in an environment much different to your silent bedroom, plus they don’t have the advantage of skipping the battle back to pick up on bars they may have missed.

Basically, in battle rap, robberies happen, yet they are few and fair between; so don’t get your panties in a bunch over something you can’t change. Instead how about you just support the artists, the league and the movement or fuck off.

Lil B – I Got AIDs Review

Now I don't usually review music as it's not at all my forte and my opinion is usually too bias to give a creditable opinion on a piece of audio art. Yet, after hearing Lil B's I Got AIDs track, I thought I'd give it a go. As Lil B is somewhat of an inspiration as he's clearly gone about producing a piece of work in which the content is unfamiliar to him, I'm just hoping that when I tackle an unfamiliar subject I don't come across as a clueless moron.

Now some deluded hip hop fans will praise Lil B for daring to tackle such a taboo topic such as AIDs in a genre that most pierce of glorifying violence, drug use and misogynistic values. Yet conscious hip hop has always been around and always will be, it's just not often pushed into the limelight. I can neither confirm or deny that Lil B is a trailblazer in the respects of making a track about AIDs, although I'm sure someone must have touched on it in the past.

But to the track itself; it begins with a small phone conversation then Lil B delivers the bad news; “I've got AIDs”, for what is supposed to be a conscious track about AIDs awareness, this opening bar instantly installs a perception that this song is in fact a piss take. It almost presents itself as a spoof, something that is likely to feature The Lonely Islands if they were more puerile and controversial. Yet it's not, this is meant to be serious, so don't laugh at the ludicrous line, it's time to learn about AIDs.

Lil B goes on to rap; “I shoulda used a condom, instead of trusting these women”. There's a bona fide tip for all those attempting to avoid contracting AIDs; use a condom! Apparently you can still fuck a women that has AIDs as long as your boy's in his wetsuit. Because condoms have never been known to tear or anything, condoms are the most durable substance in the world. The latter end of that line places the blame squarely on the shoulders of Lil B's ex-lovers, as he trusted them when really he shouldn't, so be careful guys if a woman wants to sleep with you she probably has AIDs. Lil B calls upon some advice passed down to him from his mother; “My mom said; 'keep ya dick in ya pants and you'll be good'”. Wise words there from Mother B. But while mom was dishing out sexual advice over a bowl of Frosties in the morning, it seems they've fallen on deaf ears. Lil B goes on to say that he was worried about getting the girl pregnant, not knowing that she had AIDs, now I'm no sexpert but condoms are often used to halt pregnancies. I understand that I've pointed out the drawbacks of them already but in all seriousness, if you're worried about getting a woman pregnant and you take no precautions you deserve AIDs.

The start of verse two offers some possibly unintended wordplay; “Now I'm fucked, cos I had unprotected sex”. Get it? He's “fucked” cos he had “[unprotected] sex”! But why is this an unintended piece of wordplay? Because I highly doubt Lil B to possess the skill/talent/luck of penning this line, also this line in itself is quite humorous, therefore it probably isn't meant to be pierced how I've seen it. Remember this is about AIDs, AIDs is serious! We then find out Lil B's also contracted herpes, but moaning about herpes when you have AIDs is like whining about a paper-cut on your figure as your lower intestines slosh out of a stab wound in your gut. Lil B continues on and brings up famed basketball player Magic Johnson [whom, from my research contracted HIV but it never developed into full blown AIDs, guess that's why they call him Magic]; “Magic Johnson the only one that's still alive, sittin' down all alone, it makes me wanna cry” before we highlight the subtle genius of rhyming 'alive' with 'cry' [I've heard of half-rhymes before but never half-arsed-rhymes]. At first listen I thought this line was entirely about Magic and Lil B was thinking about how Johnson was all alone and that thought made him want to cry. But on later inspection I'm not sure if Lil B is simply talking about himself wanting to cry after what has happened to him. That's surely the mark of a true artist, the pure fact, that I as a hip hop head can not truly assess what the fuck he's on about. Lil B ends verse two by saying if he could go back in time he would have wore a condom, so again I'll point out the fact that he'd still fuck a AIDs ridden woman, so he clearly hasn't learned his lesson. The final line is; “Now I’m dying, saying 'goodbye' to my momma”, I can just picture Momma B's 'I told you so' face.

Verse three is without a shadow of a doubt the best verse, as it doesn't exist. In total this is a ten bar song (twenty lines) which for a hip hop song is fucking pitiful, especially a song that is apparently about awareness. Lil B's delivery or flow is mediocre, his tone is completely void of emotion, whether or not that's purposeful because of his remorseful emotions or just a complete lack of care on Lil B's part. No anger is present in his voice when mentioning the “bitches” he's trusted. One of the most important aspects of being an emcee/rapper is being able to rhyme words, a process that Lil B has turned his nose up at, rhyming words like; pregnant/sexin', sex/bet, AIDs/pay and the unbelievable condom/momma damn! Basically nothing rhymes, I've released bodily gases that have held more rhyme merit than Lil B on this track. The beat is OK.

Overall, this song is clearly less about AIDs awareness and more about getting people talking about Lil B, yet all they'll say is; “Oh, Lil B, that guy that made that terrible song on AIDs awareness.” Maybe if Lil B took the time to pen something more thought provoking than a confused message of wear a condom and get tested that featured words that rhymed, this review would have been totally different. But if Lil B had made a decent AIDs song, this review wouldn't exist, because I just wanted to take the piss out of it. Too enjoy [I Got] AIDs take your [hearing] AIDs out.

Ben's Rating:
-5 / 0

Who's Really Behind the Riots? An Alternative View

There have been a couple of riots lately, but you already know that. Us; average, non-rioting motley crew of stay-at-homes have had every type of daily medium we deal with taken over by the riots; TV, radio, Facebook, Twitter ... We’ve been absolutely bombarded with images, videos and stories of the riots, I think we’d have seen less rioting if we’d have actually been out rioting.

Of course, as always people are desperate to get to the bottom of what caused the riots? And they’re serving up the usual batch of shit. But don’t fear, because I don’t have a narrow minded view of the revolting classes that choose to revolt. I have no bias towards the police, or as I call them; “murderous, racist scum pigs”. I do hate Cameron, but that goes without saying. People are too restricted with their views on what is causing the riots; I’m here to suggest some alternative views.

The Kaiser Chiefs
Firstly let me say; I’ve even seen Hip Hop mentioned as a cause... yet I didn’t realise that the riots had a soundtrack. I think instead of initially suspecting that ‘urban types’ only listen to Hip Hop, we as a public should acknowledge that Hip Hop is fair superior to any other type of music as it’s subject matter spans the widest range of topics and it captivates every single emotion humanly possible, and that, at the end of the day we are all Hip Hop fans, so it should no longer by dragged into the spotlight and labelled as a causation of crime. The next time some buffoon decides to falsely acknowledge that a genre of music is a causation of violent or criminal behaviour, I’mma pop a cap in ass! Word to his crack-smokin’ momma!

In 2004 the Kaiser Chiefs predicted a riot. Yep, seven years ago these guys knew it was coming and they did nothing to try and stop it. In my opinion that is completely shameful. Why aren’t the media turning on them? I’ve seen a rapper on Newsnight condemning the actions of these rioters, but where the fuck are the Kaiser Chiefs? They aren’t condemning what they predicted, they aren’t apologising for not working more closely with the police to put together a plan to halt or even curb the rage we’ve seen lately. I think there should be a national campaign against the band until they are demoted to Kaiser Constables.

Out-of-Work Builders
For a change we need to take into account who’s really profiteering off of these riots. Yes, maybe a looter has got a new flat-screen TV or brand new pair of Nikes, but it is out-of-work builders that are going to see an increase of cash flow over the coming days, weeks and months. For this reason we must suspect that they could be the ones inciting these riots.

Let’s face it; the economy isn’t at its strongest these days and companies aren’t splashing out money on rebuilding stores, so builders must create business for themselves. How would they go about doing that? By burning buildings down! It’s the fucking out-of-work builders, people, think about it!

JD Sport/Currys
Two of the most looted stores in the riots have been JD Sport and Currys. Is this a coincidence? No, of course not.

As I have already mentioned we are currently in an economical downturn and in the world of capitalism flagging companies will do anything to stay afloat. Let’s face it, out of all of the chav attire supplying, discount sports shops JD has to be one of the weakest. Also; not too long ago there was a Currys in Derby’s Westfield Centre (a big mall/shopping centre) until it relocated because the company could no longer afford the rent! This is a national supplier of electrical goods that can’t afford to pay rent, I’m constantly broke and even I can afford to pay rent, which means, I, as an individual, am currently more successful than Currys. These two companies probably aren’t turning over money like they used to. So the riots and looting have almost certainly given them the chance to cash in on some major insurance claims. These companies will more than likely make more money from insurance claims over the next few days than they would have made all year.

Rupert Murdoch
It’s become a struggle to remember what the news was reporting on before the riots, some people are even suggesting news coverage never existed before the riots, well it did people! And the biggest news story was the phone hacking scandal. Do you remember now?

I wouldn’t put it past Mr. Murdoch and his vile excreting media outlets to create a national ruckus to defer attention away from himself and the News of the World story. Both The Sun and The Times [both owned by Murdoch’s NewsCorp] have been reporting on the riots, this only acts as further proof, surely! Now with the riots in full swing people’s minds have been overloaded and actions of Murdoch’s minions have been cast to the never regions of our collective memory bank. I’m willing to bet those investigating the scandal have forgot about it, leaving everyone involved to get off scot-free.

So there it is people. Instead of blaming a couple of youths that like setting buildings alight and looting clothes and electrical goods, maybe we should start casting doubt over the individuals and companies that are really making financial and personal gain over what has been taking place. Then, perhaps, we will see who is really to blame [hint; it’s those people I’ve just mentioned] ... and the Kaiser Chiefs, don’t forget about the fucking Kaiser Chiefs.

The Cure for R-S-AIDs (DJ RSA Diss)

This goes out to RSA aka the faggot Richie Rich
better known as Daddy’s little bitch
The Drum & Bass DJ that’s always throwing hissy fits
This is it; The Cure for R-S-AIDs

He runs with arsey bre’s and mardy gays,
Turnin up and tryin to get on the decks at any Derby rave
Either that or he’s making tunes, that can’t get played,
But the truth is he has HIV and he can’t be saved

Let me clear my throat and murk this fuck
You should be spinning records in Curzon’s Club
Or swallowing a gay guy’s herpes nut
You’re just like gay sex; a worthless fuck

So wave ya rainbow flag, you gaybo fag,
Come out the closet, ya mate’s won’t laugh
Apart from the ones that have yet to taste yo’ ass
I hope you get raped so bad, that ya A-hole collapse

You’ve got no job, you make no cash,
Don’t pay no bills, don’t pay no tax
You’re 24 and your dad pays that
And yet you still moan, you ungrateful twat

So bare witness, as this spoilt little brat,
Get’s his just desserts, as I destroy him with a rap
I wanna see less of Seymour, Fill his mouth with C4,
and ask him; “What the fuck are talking to me for?”

He’d probably sell his Gran out for half an O’ of reefer,
Drug addict, I’ll secretly trade his blow for ether
You’re an old ginger bitch, I’ll call you Boudica
Drum & Bass’ all-time low achiever

Spinning records online, and not getting much respect
I’m probably better than you and I’ve never touched a deck
Even jealous of his own girlfriend ‘cos she’s a better DJ
But she’s jealous of him ‘cos he gives a better BJ

Fuck what you heard, this is not gunna end,
Stalk you in London, ‘til you get lost from your friends,
Give you concrete boots, you get dropped in the Thames
Then I return to Derby to stick my cock into ***

Face it, in a fight you’d get smacked ging’
You look like Bradley from Eastenders, after a 3 month crack binge
In fact that’s a compliment, so fuck that
You look more like Chuckie Finster, from the Rugrats

I burn you up like 5 minutes in direct sunlight
You’re the bum-type, swallowing cum-type
But they say I’m too harsh with the facts,
He broke a fingernail and put his whole arm in a cast

I’ll get some lads from Sutton to slice this fool
You’re xenophobic; cos there were no ‘coloureds’ at your private school,
I can’t have a freak like this around me,
With his ginger hair, pale skin and brown teeth


You’re attitude has got me pissed at you,
You fake snake, look at your name mate, you bit Bobby Digital
I’ll break down the acronym to prove that he’s so queer
a Rich Spoilt Arsehole, Regrets Sacking (the) Au pair,

Reclusive, Southern Aristocrat,
Rob Sucks Ass, Rob Shafts Anus,
Rubbin’ Sphincters Always
Revolting, Soap Avoider, Rummages Several Ashtrays,

Reefer, Skunk Addict,
Rob’s Sanity’s Absent,
Rob Swallows Airon’s Reproductive Seed All-the-time,
Rudimentary, Simpleton, Asinine

Raspy Stupid Accent, Really Should Apologise
Racist, Shunning Africans, Really Supporting Apartheids
Face facts, R-S-AIDs has been slaughtered,
Cos he’s a seed, that his parent’s “Really Should’ve Aborted”

Why I Hate ... Drum & Bass

OK, this has been a long time coming. The only reason that I’ve held back from writing this Blog is that my Blog is only read by my friends and the majority of my friends fucking love Drum & Bass, so it’s bound to do down like a shit sandwich, but sadly I couldn’t hold back anymore, because the fact of the matter is Drum & Bass is fucking shit! Yeah, I said it!

I know it’s easy to look at a different type of music from the outside and make harsh judgements on it, but I’m not on the outside looking in, Drum & Bass plagues my life every-fucking-day, and not just recently but this has been the case for quite a few years now. The last time I lived with someone who wasn’t constantly obsessed with Drum & Bass was when I lived at home, four years ago. So before anyone starts pointing a fucking finger in my direction and claiming; “You can’t hate something you know nothing about”, I’d like to make it clear that I know about Drum & Bass, so I’m fucking more than welcome to talk shit about it, so fuck you!

Firstly Drum & Bass is not music.

Music conveys emotion. Every song in any other genre of music conveys emotion, from pop to death metal. But Drum & Bass doesn’t. The only time it does is when the listener is high on pills. But face it, on pills an empty can of Coca-Cola falling down a flight of stairs, clinking on every-step sounds as if it’s music conveying emotion. It’s a sad state of affairs when a whole genre of ‘music’ can be only appreciated (I use this term loosely) when the listener is out of their normal state of mind.

I know people say this about many forms of ‘music’, but in this case it’s completely true; all Drum & Bass songs sound the same. They really do. Every time I hear a Drum & Bass track, no matter which talentless artist has made it, I get a case of déjà vu! It’s freaky!

And when it comes to Drum & Bass emcees, oh my days....! I thought the majority of Grime artists were terrible. The best Drum & Bass emcee makes the worst Grime emcee look like a musical mastermind. It’s just that Drum & Bass lyrics lack a fundamental essential; LYRICS. It’s just fucking muffled gibberish. I feel like I’m listening to someone taking my order at a McDonalds Drive-Thru. They could be speaking Korean for all I know. I do prefer Drum & Bass without vocals to be honest, because then at least you only have to deal with the appalling beat instead of having my ears tortured by an appalling beat and an incomprehendable drivel being spat out by some obnoxious cunt.

It may be harsh to label all Drum & Bass emcees “obnoxious cunts”, so I’d like to say that I’m sure they’re not all obnoxious cunts. I’m sure the Drum & Bass emcee scene is made up of obnoxious twats, obnoxious bastards, obnoxious fucks and obnoxious [add own expletive word here] too.

As I have previously mentioned plenty of my friends listen to Drum & Bass and while I have no medical credentials or no scientific proof to back up the following point, I do believe (from my own experiences) that it is still true; Drum and Bass makes people stupid. When most of my friends started listening to it I saw a rapid decline in their intelligence. They began finding it hard to concentrate on the simplest tasks, this went on to the point were some of them could no longer tie their shoes or even spell their own names.

Another aspect of Drum & Bass is that it seems as if almost everyone that listens to it is a Drum & Bass DJ. I know five people that are Drum & Bass DJ’s! Five! I’d take a wild stab in the dark and estimate that a good 95% of people that listen to Drum & Bass are in fact DJs. The pendulum* has swung in favour of them, now there are more people playing Drum & Bass records than listening to them! The major increase of Drum & Bass DJs makes the global expansion of companies like McDonalds and Starbucks look pathetic. Official figures state that there are approximately 3,000 new Drum & Bass DJs everyday. If this continues it is likely that people such as myself and others that don’t like Drum & Bass will be rounded up and put into camps. Seeing as we will be the minority, we will then be allocated to a Drum & Bass DJ, chained to his (or her) decks and forced to listen to their 24 hour set, just so every Drum & Bass DJ has an audience. When that day comes I advice all those like me to chew at your own wrists until you’ve done so much damage that you eventually bleed to death.

One of my biggest gripes with Drum & Bass is that people actually think I listen to it or like it. Of course it seems silly to hate something because people think you like it, shouldn’t my gripe be with this idiotic morons that believe I would like such shit? No, my gripe should be with Drum & Bass, because if it didn’t exist I wouldn’t have this problem. I’m constantly being asked if I’ve heard the new track by some D&B fuckwit! Or I’m being asked if I’m going to the next Drum & Bass night. Asking me if I like Drum & Bass is akin to asking me if I like jamming a Phillips-head screwdriver down my urethra. So, no I don’t like Drum & Bass, in fact if you’re yet to work it out from the title or from the rant above, I’ll just clarify one more time; I fucking hate Drum & Bass.

Thanks for your time.

*Get it? I used ‘pendulum’ in a Blog about Drum & Bass! I’m so clever.

Virus Rap

Why I Hate Rappers.

It has come to my attention that there is an overwhelming amount of anti-emo matterial on my Blog, and I just want to say that I in no way hate emo kids. This is all in fun, I do not mean to cause insult to already unstable young minds that will one day be employed by me, to clean my pool. This is all just for fun ... although emo kids have no grasp of fun ... only joking children. I'm sure self-harming is a blast (well it would be if a shotgun was incorporated).

Damn! The purpose of this Blog was not to make fun of emo kids, but to attack some of my idols; rappers!

Fuck stupid fuckers! Fuck them like you're a G-Unit groupie!

What I hate, and I can't stress this enough; What I HATE about rappers is they're so idiotic. Let me break it down for you.

Two main subjects that rappers talk about are their love for committing crimes and their hate for police, which go hand in hand. But when the latest chart topping rapper (and I use the term rapper losely here) is stopped by the police they cause a massive fuss. Is it racism? Are these white cops jealous of a black man making some money? No. If you always talk about the crimes you commit, that is an INVITE for police to pull you over. Twat! Think about it, if someone was walking around town telling anyone who would listen that he sold crack, the the police turn up at their door wanting to search his home, would you really be surprised? No, you wouldn't. 99% of rappers smoke weed (that's just an educated guess), so when they are pulled over by the police almost everytime weed is found. This is policing 101! Basic stuff. If you're a cop and you see Snoop Dogg drive passed, pull him over, get his weed, head back to the station and brag about how you pulled over and arrested a millionaire. Simple.

What I also HATE is the fact that rappers brag about selling crack. Selling crack in no way shape or form is cool. Selling crack is about as cool as smoking crack ... and I know no cool crackheads. A typical rapper often glorfies selling crack but then complains that crackheads live in his 'hood', I wounder why, you fucking fool, put two and two together.

I also hate that; "I had to sell crack, I'm not proud of it, I had to do it to feed my kid". Look, there's plenty of stuff I've done that I'm not proud of, like shagging some ugly girls, but I don't tell everyone over and over again. Why? Because I'm embarrassed by it, so I keep it to myself (apart from now, but I needed an example).

Then comes the classic arguement; "It's art!" Bullshit! Yeah, it's art when you come under fire from the media or whoever, but when another rapper questions you're credibility all of that talk of it being 'Art' goes out the window; "I'll fuck you up, I'm gangsta!!" Blah, blah, fucking blah!

This is nothing artistic about bragging about distrobution of drugs that ruin communtities and lives, sorry. It's about as artistic as Joseph Fritzl imprisoning and raping his daughter.

Ban Emo Music, Save Lives!

Over the years my favourite genre of music has constantly been attacked for being too violent and causing Urban kids to commit acts of crime on each other, such as shootings or stabbings. And despite logical reponses to these claims it happens again and again. So in the fight to stop the Media and Politians using Hip Hop as a scapegoat for problems which happen because of many other factors, poverty being the main one in my opinion, the state of our society being another, I have decided to launch an attack on another genre of music. The best defence is a strong offence, is my reasoning. So here I go ...

Ban emo music! Ban that shit!

If a black youth stabs another black youth, it's Hip Hop's fault! Why? Because the stabber probably listened to Hip Hop. If some whiney emo kid kills himself. Who gets the blame? In most cases I find that it's the fault of the people that bully them, most of the time, these bullies are leaving hateful messages on Bebo or MySpace. If only there was some way to BLOCK these bullies!

This is the biggest loads of bullshit ever!

Almost everyone, at some in their school life gets bullied. I did. Most of the time you find it's the easy targets; the fat kids, the ginger kids and the fat ginger kids. But lets face it, the rich get bullied because they're rich, the poor get bullied becuase they're poor. It's never ending. Emo kids get bullied mainly because of the way they dress. All black, dark make up, they're fucking setting themselves up to get bullied, they may aswell wear a sandwich board with "Please make fun of me" written on it. If I was a bully and I saw some boy wearing make up, of course I'm going to pick on him.

I in no way support bullies. As I've said before, I was bullied as a kid. What happened, a bigger kid started to bully my bully! Problem solved.

But I'm kinda moving away from the point I'm trying to make. These emo kids get over-emotional over the littlest things, and I'm sorry, if you can't cope now, you'll never be ready for the real world, as the saying goes, it's survival of the fittest.

So get rid of this emo music so these emo kids stop killing themselves. At least (if you go with what the Media/Politicians say) if a Hip Hop fan gets picked on he'll kill the bully, which means one less bully in the world. Give that motherfucker a medal!

Plus I'm also sick of the sight of emo kids gathered in the middle of Derby. A few years ago, in my hometown of Sutton-in-TrAshfield, it was Chav's that gathered in town, but they'd at least be drinking and smoking, and looked they were enjoying themselves, even if they did throw verbal abuse it me on most occasions. But these emos in town just seem dull and bored. For fuck sake, buy a CD with some decent music and cheer yourself up!

So ban emo music, and do everyone a fucking favour!

Hip Hop 4 Life, Beeeeeeeeeeeeyatchs!!

The Other Broc Song

Here is a song I made for my good friend; Broc.