What have the French taught me?

I am under strict orders to post something in my excellent Blog about French Girls, but not ordinary French Girls, some French Girls I have met, so here I go …

Now the French are a very strange people type of people. They live so close to England, yet they are so different from us English people, much like the Welsh and Scottish.

I remember the first day I met the French girls, it was a Monday night, and I was trying to sleep because I had work early the next day. They arrived and made loads of noise moving in, so I couldn’t sleep. Of course only one of them was moving into MY flat, but all of them were keeping me awake. When I first knew I’d be sharing MY flat with someone from France, I thought; “Shit, this place is going to stink like garlic!” But to my surprise I’ve smelt no garlic yet. I haven’t even seen any of the French girls wear garlic around their necks, ride a bike, carry French bread or wear one of those t-shirts with blue and white stripes. So I sometimes question if they’re French at all. Anyway, onto a lighter note, I’m going to tell the world (by world, I mean the few people sad enough to read my Blog – that’s you, fucking loser!), what I have learned from the French girls.

Well, let me just say I have learned a few things. I’ve learned a few French words and phrases; I think I could hold a conversation with a French person for a good 30 seconds or so. I have also learned that the French are not all cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys. But most importantly I have learned; never, ever, under any circumstances touch a French girl’s bum! They will flip the fuck out! I not go into the details of how I discovered this, but you clever people can likely work it out yourselves.

So that’s it, after spending about five months knowing some girls from France, that is all I have learned. Not much really, but they have been lucky enough to have me teach them the ways of our culture. Those lucky bastards!