You, a Chav and an Emo

Imagine this situation; you’re trapped in a room with an emo, a chav and a gun with only one bullet. I will now explain what to do.

Firstly remain calm. This is very important. Of course the emo is going to be very scared, because after all he’s emotional! If you show any fear he’ll latch on to you, which you don’t want. No need to fear the chav either. He too, is out of his element. Without his group of little followers he will not act violent towards you, because he has no back up and of course the emo not help him.

Secondly, try to avoid moving to close to the chav, or he may steal your cigarettes or impregnate you if you’re a thirteen year old girl. Avoid the emo too. If you get too close he may thing you want to communicate with him. And if he thinks you want to communicate with you he’ll start to complain about how hard is life is and how all of his friends that act the same and dress the same don’t understand what he’s going threw. Plus he’ll start to list the reason why ‘Bullet For My Valentine’ is the greatest band ever. So avoid them both, at all costs.

Now, before I forgot to mention that the gun, with only one bullet, is in your possession. Now I will explain what to do next.

After a while, you will want to use that gun. But who do you shoot?

The chav? No, don’t be stupid. That will leave you with the emo. And if you ever get out of this situation the chav’s draw smoking, Fosters drinking, dole collecting family and friends will attempt to kill you in revenge. Of course, I’m all for killing chavs, don’t get me wrong, but like I mentioned this will leave you with the emo.

The emo? No. This will leave you with the chav. Plus the emo is probably into self-harming himself so he’ll more than likely get some kind of twisted pleasure out of getting shot in the head.

So we have come to the conclusion that you shoot neither of them. So what’s the solution?

Kill yourself. Blow your own brains out, preferably over the emo so he has something to moan and write poetry about. Trust me; death is much, much better than being trapped in a room with an emo and a chav, unless you’ve been evil all your life, in which case you’ll go to hell. And for those that don’t know hell consists of one room, where you will appear and the only other two inhabitants are a chav and an emo.