MySpace
When I’m really bored I go on MySpace to look at foolish fucks and how they live their pathetic lives. Lonely bastards talking to fake friends, get a fucking life. I will now single-handily dismantle the main groups that annoy me on MySpace.
Emcees/Rappers/Hip Hop Crews/Producers
How many more shitty emcees are going to try and add me to MySpace? Fuck off you untalented bastards. When did unoriginality become acceptable? What crossed your minds, you fucking waste of space? You’re fucking shit, stop sitting around all day making predictable beats and writing recycled rhymes that we’ve heard a million times before. If you’re so fucking ‘Street’ get off the internet you little cunt, go out on the street, live what you claim. Go out and get stabbed! One less cunt. Or go out and stab some other shitty emcee, fuck it, come and stab me, death would be a sweet release from the world occupied by people like you. Or how about learning a trade? Because you’re spending all your fucking time locked in your mother’s basement trying to make it big, you could be out getting a job, you fucking tool. And what is it with these fucking producers? Trying to sell something they made in five minutes on Fruity Loops for over £100! Get fucking real you pricks. The best music in the world is made because it needs to be made, not because you need the latest pair of Nike Air Max. Make music because you love it, not to make money. If you really want to get somewhere in the music business you have to give shit out for free first, build a buzz the right way or go and fucking hang yourself. And stop posting pictures of plastic girls holding up a piece of paper with your name on, you may think its good that a slightly decent looking sket thinks you’re good, but what do girls really know about Hip Hop? Not fucking much in my experience.
Emos
Next is all the fucking emos on MySpace. The thing about emos is they claim that no-one understands how they feel, shut the fuck up please. PLEASE! Fuck you and your problems, nobody has an easy life, everyone has troubles, there’s nothing different about the shit that happens to you. You’re life is not original in anyway, shape or form. And also please stop using mass produced music to put forward how you feel, you see its mass produced because everyone else feels the same, you dumb fuck. Go kill yourself, I mean you keep telling everyone you’re going to do it, so go ahead. Stop getting my hopes up for no reason.
Plastic Girls
Next up is the fucking plastic girls, uploading half naked photos of themselves. You sad little girls. You’re begging for attention. If MySpace was a nightclub, you’d be in the corner with a sign around your neck that read; “Free Blow Jobs”. I don’t know what it is that makes you so needy, did Daddy touch you? Maybe it is has something to do with the fact you’re really ugly. Photoshop can work wonders! Look, if you’re lucky you’ll end up in some dodgy basement somewhere making cheap porno films, but you need to make money somehow to feed you three bastard children and your crack habit, that stuff isn’t cheap. But it’ll all be fine because in your mind you’ll still be a star. So what you have to swallow cum to put food on the table, who cares?
Now when Facebook first came around it was great, much better than MySpace. It was a place for friends. But eventually it became over-saturated with people wanting to be my friend. Now I have no problem with adding people that are my friends but what is with these fucking losers that I used to go to school with? We’re not friends you fuck. We weren’t at school, we’re not now. I hope you die when you push out your next bastard child, or I hope you catch AIDs when you fuck you 15 year old female cousin. You’re all from Sutton, you’re all shit, go and shoot up and OD, please. And what is with all those fucking applications? Fuck off with that shit, it’s fucking annoying! Every single time I log on someone I hate is trying to make me join their group. “Join my group ‘Help Save the Planet!!!1’ please.” No motherfucker, how is my joining your group going to save the planet? Please explain that to me. And what is it with all these idiots I went to school with? Stop posting pictures of your ugly, disfigured bastard children. Nobody cares about the flock of fatherless little shits you keep pushing out. One last thing, if you keep ‘poking’ me, I’m going to come to your house and poke you in the throat with an AIDs infected syringe.
Bebo
Now when it comes to Bebo I’m not too up to date with it, because I’m not actually a member for one major reason. That reason is when I pick up the newspaper and read about the latest teenager getting stabbed to death, there’s always a picture of the victim that has been taken from their Bebo page. From this fact I have concluded that you are more likely to get stabbed to death if you’re on Bebo. That is why I avoid this social network website. I’m also been lead to believe that most of the members of Bebo are young teens, and I have nothing in common with the youth of today; happy slapping, self harming, getting each other pregnant… Not really my scene.
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