Allow me to re-introduce myself ... My name is Ben! OK, nobody can quite pull that line of apart from Jay-Z himself, but I thought I'd give it ago. I'm sure the millions of you people that read my blog have been asking yourself; "Has Ben finally ODed? because he hasn't posted anything in a while." Well please stop worrying and sending my mother flowers and cards saying "Sorry For You Loss", because I'm fine.
The reason for my lack of blogging is simple, I'm lazy and busy, which is quite oxymoronic. But fear not people, because I've cut back my time at work, I'm avoiding my friends and family, I'm not doing my Uni work and I've given up sleep just so I can blog more.
Since I've been away (by away I mean not-blogging), not much has happened to me really and I'm almost at a loss of something to blog about off the top of my head, but as soon as my lazy-ass housemate (yes, you Leon - I know you'll read this eventually) sorts out the internet at our house I'll be online all the time. Of course I could have sorted the internet out but I was too busy ignoring my housemates. Anyway, I even have a follower now (shout out to Neyull), that's one step closer to world domination!
Anyway, I'm going to leave you with a few subjects I've been pondering lately:
- The new RSPCA advert (click here to see) is asking for urgent money to pay for it's biggest rescue ever after new laws have been bought in that lets them save an animal before it gets hurt or something along those lines. If they are desperate for money that means they must be short on staff and food so the animals aren't getting the correct treatment. Does this mean that the RSPCA will end up taking themselves to court for cruelty to animals?
- Sarah Palin ... what is with this bitch? Jornalists love her. This bitch is a oxymoron* a creationist that kills 'Gods' animals, a pro-lifer that supports the death penalty, talks about family-values when her teenage daughter is about to have a bastard baby. "What's the difference between a pitbull and a hockey mom? ..... Lipstick" That joke sucks! Plus it's not true. There's loads of things that make them different. It anything lipstick is one thing they have in common, hockey mom's have lipstick, ever seen a horny pitbull's cock?? I rest my case!
- Is G-Star the uniform of cunts? Honestly, I'm yet to meet a cool person that wears G-Star. I know it's meant to be one of the coolest clothes brands out now for males, but nobody cool is wearing it. Maybe it's just Derby people that wear G-Star that aren't cool. The missus told me to buy some G-Star clothes, but I'm waiting for a penis to develop on my forehead, and for the price to come down, which ever happens first (but I'm willing to bet I'll have grown a cock and vagina on my forehead before you can pick up some G-Star jeans for around £25).
- Thanx for your time people, Ben
*I know I used the term oxymoronic twice in this post. I've always known what this word means, honest. I haven't just learned it. It's just a bit strange that I've finally used it ... TWICE.
1 comment:
Bout time bitch! Been checkin this SOB every 10 mins for the last 26 days!! I have literally little or no life left (tho some may argue nothings changed). I see the word a day calendar I gave you for your bday arrived ;)
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