Pussy Whipped?

What is it will with the male gender? That as soon as they get involved with a female their mates begin to label them 'pussy whipped'? Pussy whipped ... even the sound of it gives me a semi, because I looooove pussy.

I'm now going to explain why being pussy whipped is a good thing.

Now it's come to my attention that some of my friends believe I'm pussy whipped, that's fine. They are entitled to your opinions. But these are the same friends that wouldn't recognise a pussy if they saw one in real life. They're only used to seeing them in printed form or on their PC screens. So they wouldn't know what to do with one, if they came across one (Yeah - cheap pun, but who cares?).

Because I get phone calls inviting me out, but I've already made plans with the missus, so I have to decline. Then the next day I get a call like this;
"Ben, you should have come to the pub last night, we got turned down by 27 girls and one guy dressed in drag!"
"Sorry lads, I was too busy fucking!"
What's the point of going out and getting turned down by a massive number of dirty skets when I have a beautiful girl ready and waiting to suck my cock? Yes, I understand that I should spend time with my friends, but when it comes down to it; pussy > friends!

"Ben, you should have come to my party man, some random people turned up and stole all the light bulbs in the house, then the cops came, and they couldn't see, they thought I was a burgler and beat me half to death ... and someone took a shit in the kitchen sink. it was amazing!!"
"Sorry man, I was busy eating pussy!"

Because I love to eat pussy, everyman does (apart from homosexuals - of course). Here's a point for any females reading, if your boyfriend/husband does not eat you out there's something wrong with him ... or there's something wrong with your gash. So get to the doctors as soon as possible, if you're given the all clear, get yourself to the nearest singles bar!


I have a friend who told me, eating a woman out is 'gay'. Now this friend clearly doesn't understand what he his talking about. A man going down on a woman is possibly the most hetrosexual act a couple can perform. Now if you go down on a woman and her testicles start slapping you in the chin, that is gay ... and this woMAN has a secret. There's nothing sexier than having a girl's thighs wrapped around your neck to the point you think she's going to snap your head off if you continue. But you keep lapping it up like a dehydrated pitbull until you get hit by an avalanche of cum!