Well people, it would seem as if I will continue to Blog. This is due to the fact I'm not moving into my house just yet. The reason being that everything I own is locked away in a friends house, who is currently not there, and I'm unable to get all of my belongings. I did think about moving in anyway, but the thought of living on my own, with no PC, TV, bedding or plates made me rethink that idea. It would be me and my mobile phone, and seeing as my mobile has no decent games whatsoever, I'm better off staying where I am. In a house with a TV, the internet, bedding and plates, because I like having things to eat off and a nice place to sleep .... and someone to sleep with.
I'd like to say I've got something to post but sadly I haven't. I've resorted into a lazy state at the minute, and I slowly notice that this Blog is turning into something I never wanted it to be; a Blog about what I'm doing (this post is a perfect example). But at the end of the day, does it really matter? Is anyone online reading this? Why would they when there is so much porn on the web, I'm sure there's plenty of bullshit videos on YouTube for people to view, most TV channels have online services now ... I don't know why I'm promoting such sites, if anyone is reading this I'm sure they've left by now to check out something I've just mentioned. But maybe I'm just in a mood, so fuck me! The fact of the matter is I love to Blog, but I fucking hate most people that Blog. Blogs I've come across are shit. Well I don't view that many anymore, due to the masses of shit ones I used to see.
Fuck it, I'm probably just bitching because I have nothing constructive to say, and I've hit a big fat fucking writers block when it comes to ideas for my Blog. I do have some stuff about weed that I'm tempted to write about, but I don't want to come across as some massive stoner - but fuck knows why, it's usually the first impression people get when they meet me. But it's late and I'm tired, a day of doing jack shit has left me uninspired and in a bad mood. This post is proof.
To the people that just spend time reading this, I'm sorry. I can never give you that time back. But do come back, I'm going to come with something good soon, I promise.
If anyone's still reading, leave a comment of post you like, support is like the chance of getting laid ... it keeps me from jumping in front of a speeding bus.
Thanks and goodnight xx
One last thing people, sorry to waste your time, I know you want to get to that porn or some funny video of an old woman getting mugged on YouTube, but I've taken up a challenge; to get a joke in the Nuts magazine. I'm new to writing jokes, so this may take sometime ... or never happen. Anyway I've emailed one in already, it's not great but most of the jokes in Nuts are nothing too great. Here's my first joke:
After a long day together a son asks he father why he and his mother got a divorce.
"Well," the dad says, "it's all to do with compromising"
"Couldn't you and mum decide on anything?" the boy asks.
"No, we could decide on things. It's just that you're mum caught me in a compromising position with her sister."
ha h aha hahahahahhahaha
Thursday, 24 July 2008
Saturday, 19 July 2008
Blog News
Here's some Blog news people, so gather the family or friends around the PC/Mac and all feel sorrow for what I am about to tell you; I not be posting so much in the next few weeks. This is due to my personal life and possible rape charges I am facing, but once my name is cleared I'll be back ....
But in all seriousness I'm moving into my new house and may not have internet connection for a while, but don't reach for that knife yet, no need to slit your wrists because I will still be writing and hopefully writing with more focus. I will actaully think about what I'm going to write instead of just writing it. What to expect; more reasons to legalise weed, true stories of me getting too wasted, more What's Been Happening This Week (infact, I will try to keep upto date with the happens in the news and post everything I've missed while I'm away), Religious hate and of course random abuse being thrown at emos!
But until then, you can check out my partner in crime, my fellow weed smoking, beer drinking, wife beating, child touching soul-mate; Frenchie @ http://dickmcnasty.blogspot.com/
As he takes you on a journey deep into the darkest parts of his mind where the voices he often so listens to reside. In his first post he shares his love of Coldplay.
But in all seriousness I'm moving into my new house and may not have internet connection for a while, but don't reach for that knife yet, no need to slit your wrists because I will still be writing and hopefully writing with more focus. I will actaully think about what I'm going to write instead of just writing it. What to expect; more reasons to legalise weed, true stories of me getting too wasted, more What's Been Happening This Week (infact, I will try to keep upto date with the happens in the news and post everything I've missed while I'm away), Religious hate and of course random abuse being thrown at emos!
But until then, you can check out my partner in crime, my fellow weed smoking, beer drinking, wife beating, child touching soul-mate; Frenchie @ http://dickmcnasty.blogspot.com/
As he takes you on a journey deep into the darkest parts of his mind where the voices he often so listens to reside. In his first post he shares his love of Coldplay.
Thursday, 17 July 2008
Pussy Whipped?
What is it will with the male gender? That as soon as they get involved with a female their mates begin to label them 'pussy whipped'? Pussy whipped ... even the sound of it gives me a semi, because I looooove pussy.
I'm now going to explain why being pussy whipped is a good thing.
Now it's come to my attention that some of my friends believe I'm pussy whipped, that's fine. They are entitled to your opinions. But these are the same friends that wouldn't recognise a pussy if they saw one in real life. They're only used to seeing them in printed form or on their PC screens. So they wouldn't know what to do with one, if they came across one (Yeah - cheap pun, but who cares?).
Because I get phone calls inviting me out, but I've already made plans with the missus, so I have to decline. Then the next day I get a call like this;
"Ben, you should have come to the pub last night, we got turned down by 27 girls and one guy dressed in drag!"
"Sorry lads, I was too busy fucking!"
What's the point of going out and getting turned down by a massive number of dirty skets when I have a beautiful girl ready and waiting to suck my cock? Yes, I understand that I should spend time with my friends, but when it comes down to it; pussy > friends!
"Ben, you should have come to my party man, some random people turned up and stole all the light bulbs in the house, then the cops came, and they couldn't see, they thought I was a burgler and beat me half to death ... and someone took a shit in the kitchen sink. it was amazing!!"
"Sorry man, I was busy eating pussy!"
Because I love to eat pussy, everyman does (apart from homosexuals - of course). Here's a point for any females reading, if your boyfriend/husband does not eat you out there's something wrong with him ... or there's something wrong with your gash. So get to the doctors as soon as possible, if you're given the all clear, get yourself to the nearest singles bar!
I have a friend who told me, eating a woman out is 'gay'. Now this friend clearly doesn't understand what he his talking about. A man going down on a woman is possibly the most hetrosexual act a couple can perform. Now if you go down on a woman and her testicles start slapping you in the chin, that is gay ... and this woMAN has a secret. There's nothing sexier than having a girl's thighs wrapped around your neck to the point you think she's going to snap your head off if you continue. But you keep lapping it up like a dehydrated pitbull until you get hit by an avalanche of cum!
I'm now going to explain why being pussy whipped is a good thing.
Now it's come to my attention that some of my friends believe I'm pussy whipped, that's fine. They are entitled to your opinions. But these are the same friends that wouldn't recognise a pussy if they saw one in real life. They're only used to seeing them in printed form or on their PC screens. So they wouldn't know what to do with one, if they came across one (Yeah - cheap pun, but who cares?).
Because I get phone calls inviting me out, but I've already made plans with the missus, so I have to decline. Then the next day I get a call like this;
"Ben, you should have come to the pub last night, we got turned down by 27 girls and one guy dressed in drag!"
"Sorry lads, I was too busy fucking!"
What's the point of going out and getting turned down by a massive number of dirty skets when I have a beautiful girl ready and waiting to suck my cock? Yes, I understand that I should spend time with my friends, but when it comes down to it; pussy > friends!
"Ben, you should have come to my party man, some random people turned up and stole all the light bulbs in the house, then the cops came, and they couldn't see, they thought I was a burgler and beat me half to death ... and someone took a shit in the kitchen sink. it was amazing!!"
"Sorry man, I was busy eating pussy!"
Because I love to eat pussy, everyman does (apart from homosexuals - of course). Here's a point for any females reading, if your boyfriend/husband does not eat you out there's something wrong with him ... or there's something wrong with your gash. So get to the doctors as soon as possible, if you're given the all clear, get yourself to the nearest singles bar!
I have a friend who told me, eating a woman out is 'gay'. Now this friend clearly doesn't understand what he his talking about. A man going down on a woman is possibly the most hetrosexual act a couple can perform. Now if you go down on a woman and her testicles start slapping you in the chin, that is gay ... and this woMAN has a secret. There's nothing sexier than having a girl's thighs wrapped around your neck to the point you think she's going to snap your head off if you continue. But you keep lapping it up like a dehydrated pitbull until you get hit by an avalanche of cum!
Wednesday, 16 July 2008
The Correct Guide to Treating Shop Assistants
Now most comidians talk down on minimum wage earning shop assistants, and make fun of them. But I have worked as a shop assistant for many years now, and I'm not going to attack my people! Martin Luther King didn't go around calling anyone a "Coon", did he? No, he bloody well didn't! This post is for you, the CUSTOMER!
The first thing you need to know that you (the customer) are a complete and utter fucking moron! I'm sorry but you are. Every customer is. I am when I'm one, and you are when you're one.
Secondly the phrase "The customer is always right", is complete bullshit and so far from the truth it should be against the law for anyone to even think that, let alone say it. The customer is wrong, not all the time, but in my vast experience, they are wrong 99% of the time. The person that came up with the phrase should be strapped the front of a bus, with a landmine attached to his or her face, then driven at full speed into a wall, which is made up of spikes, that have poisen tips.
So, those two points are the basics, ok? Undertands so far? If not here a recap; Customer = moron and the 'moron' is never right.
Now, when you are in a shop treat anyone that works in that shop with respect. Ever wonder why people look so depressed at ASDA? Because they earn minimum wage, have a job that is going nowhere fast, get treated like shit by management and then in comes a moron to give them more abuse! This may seem simple but so many morons never take it into consideration; 'treat the staff nice, and they'll treat you nice'! Really, it IS that simple.
An other thing I've seemed to notice about morons is they expect everyone that works in a supermarket to have vast knowledge on every aspect of the store and its products ... this is not the case. Supermarkets are split into departments for many reasons, so if you have a question about an apple go find someone on that (Fruit and Veg) department, don't go up to someone stacking tins of beans and expect them to give you the ins and outs of an apple. Here is some information:
- Supermarkets are known for there numberous special offers, this does not mean that everyone that works in the store knows all the offers. There are thousands each week. I have had morons come up to me and many occasions waving a product in my face asking me, "Is this on offer?" And when I say I don't know, but I'll find out for you, they get mad, "Well you work here, you should know!" If you were in hospital, would you expect the receptionist to diagnose you? And then would you wait for the guy that fixes the vending machine to operate? No, not unless you're fucking insane!
- When the store is shut, get to the fucking checkouts asap! Please people! I'm begging you. If the store closes at 10.00pm and you get to the checkouts at 10.30pm and wonder why everyone is looking at you funny and muttering "dickhead" under their breath it's becuase you have made them all late to go to their shitty little house and cry about how depressing their lives are. I would greatly take this bit of information on board, it may save your life, becuase the day I finally do go postal at work it will be a late customer that tips me over the edge. I will then proseed to kill the customer and all his/her family members in the store, then kill as many staff as possible, managers first, then supervisors, then that chick from wines and spirits that wouldn't go out with me, then everyone else!
- If a product is not on the shelf were it should be don't ask if there's any in the back. Because even if there is, no member of staff is really going to look for it. What happens is a moron asks an employee if there's any KY Jelly in the back, the employee says he/she'll go and look, but what they actually do is go in the warehouse, chat to someone for a while about nothing to do with KY Jelly, apart from maybe saying; "This customer wants so KY Jelly, fucking bummer!!", then will then come back to the customer and tell them we have no more KY Jelly, but we're expecting some more in soon. I thought that morons already knew this. But it seems not.
- DO NOT complain to anyone who isn't a manager or a supervisor. I've had morons complain to me many times and my response is; "I'm sorry, but I don't get paid enough to listen to you moan. Go to Customer Services and they'll get a manager."
- If there is a massive line at the checkouts don't ask members of staff if they're going to put more staff on the tills. Firstly because you mainly ask the wrong person, and secondly, if they had the staff they would, you fucking twats!! If it gets you out of the fucking store faster they would put more people on the tills, but the thing you need to know is that management do not supply the needed amount of staff to save money so they look better to the area managers, it's a fucked up fact, but asking overworked, underpaid staff stupid questions will only get you strangled!
Thank you for reading. I hope you have enjoyed this guide. Sorry if there's spelling mistakes, haven't got a spell-checker at the minute.
The first thing you need to know that you (the customer) are a complete and utter fucking moron! I'm sorry but you are. Every customer is. I am when I'm one, and you are when you're one.
Secondly the phrase "The customer is always right", is complete bullshit and so far from the truth it should be against the law for anyone to even think that, let alone say it. The customer is wrong, not all the time, but in my vast experience, they are wrong 99% of the time. The person that came up with the phrase should be strapped the front of a bus, with a landmine attached to his or her face, then driven at full speed into a wall, which is made up of spikes, that have poisen tips.
So, those two points are the basics, ok? Undertands so far? If not here a recap; Customer = moron and the 'moron' is never right.
Now, when you are in a shop treat anyone that works in that shop with respect. Ever wonder why people look so depressed at ASDA? Because they earn minimum wage, have a job that is going nowhere fast, get treated like shit by management and then in comes a moron to give them more abuse! This may seem simple but so many morons never take it into consideration; 'treat the staff nice, and they'll treat you nice'! Really, it IS that simple.
An other thing I've seemed to notice about morons is they expect everyone that works in a supermarket to have vast knowledge on every aspect of the store and its products ... this is not the case. Supermarkets are split into departments for many reasons, so if you have a question about an apple go find someone on that (Fruit and Veg) department, don't go up to someone stacking tins of beans and expect them to give you the ins and outs of an apple. Here is some information:
- Supermarkets are known for there numberous special offers, this does not mean that everyone that works in the store knows all the offers. There are thousands each week. I have had morons come up to me and many occasions waving a product in my face asking me, "Is this on offer?" And when I say I don't know, but I'll find out for you, they get mad, "Well you work here, you should know!" If you were in hospital, would you expect the receptionist to diagnose you? And then would you wait for the guy that fixes the vending machine to operate? No, not unless you're fucking insane!
- When the store is shut, get to the fucking checkouts asap! Please people! I'm begging you. If the store closes at 10.00pm and you get to the checkouts at 10.30pm and wonder why everyone is looking at you funny and muttering "dickhead" under their breath it's becuase you have made them all late to go to their shitty little house and cry about how depressing their lives are. I would greatly take this bit of information on board, it may save your life, becuase the day I finally do go postal at work it will be a late customer that tips me over the edge. I will then proseed to kill the customer and all his/her family members in the store, then kill as many staff as possible, managers first, then supervisors, then that chick from wines and spirits that wouldn't go out with me, then everyone else!
- If a product is not on the shelf were it should be don't ask if there's any in the back. Because even if there is, no member of staff is really going to look for it. What happens is a moron asks an employee if there's any KY Jelly in the back, the employee says he/she'll go and look, but what they actually do is go in the warehouse, chat to someone for a while about nothing to do with KY Jelly, apart from maybe saying; "This customer wants so KY Jelly, fucking bummer!!", then will then come back to the customer and tell them we have no more KY Jelly, but we're expecting some more in soon. I thought that morons already knew this. But it seems not.
- DO NOT complain to anyone who isn't a manager or a supervisor. I've had morons complain to me many times and my response is; "I'm sorry, but I don't get paid enough to listen to you moan. Go to Customer Services and they'll get a manager."
- If there is a massive line at the checkouts don't ask members of staff if they're going to put more staff on the tills. Firstly because you mainly ask the wrong person, and secondly, if they had the staff they would, you fucking twats!! If it gets you out of the fucking store faster they would put more people on the tills, but the thing you need to know is that management do not supply the needed amount of staff to save money so they look better to the area managers, it's a fucked up fact, but asking overworked, underpaid staff stupid questions will only get you strangled!
Thank you for reading. I hope you have enjoyed this guide. Sorry if there's spelling mistakes, haven't got a spell-checker at the minute.
Legalise Weed. Don't Get Stabbed
My name is Ben and I have a problem. My problem; my dealer has stopped dealing. After the re-classifaction of cannabis, many dealers no longer want to deal in fear of getting caught and facing harsher jail sentences if caught dealing the now Class B drug.
This has left many stoners extrememly sober. And the pressures of society are starting to get to us. Reality is hard, and weed is a distraction. People say its addictive. WRONG. What's addictive is the feeling of relaxation that comes over you. Problems aren't has serious when you are stoned.
Cannabis becomes Class B, more people are getting stabbed. Coincedience? I think not. Less weed equals more violent crimes. Gordon Brown wants to stop knife crime, the silution is to legalise weed.
Imagine this young people (that are drawn into committing violent crimes) stoned. See in the number of stabbings and gun crimes go down. Watch them drop off the chart.
"But Ben, weed is a gateway drug!"
Is it? Is it really? I can name an endless about of drug users. Any idea what drug they used first? It wasn't weed, it was alcohol. Alcohol is THE gateway drug. But it's fine because alcohol is legal, so using that logic it's fine for weed to be a gateway drug, if it is legalised.
How many fights would take place in your town/city centre on a Friday night if everyone was stoned ... alot less than there is now, while everyone is pissed up beyond belief. Did you know that of all the violent crimes committed in this country, almost half of the offenders are under the influence of alcohol at the time (Thanks to Sky One's Street Wars for that information)?
"But Ben, weed causes cancer!"
So? Tobacco causes cancer. Alcohol causes so much internal damage to the body. Step out your front door and take a breath of fresh car exhaust fumes, mmmm healthy. The sun causes skin cancer, is anyone going to ban the sun? In a country where we are free to kill ourselves with drink, salty foods and sunlight, what more harm is a plant going to do?
"But Ben, cannabis sends its users crazy!"
The propaganda of Reefer Madness makes people think that weed sends you crazy. If so why aren't there more crazy people in the world. Do you know how many people are smoking weed? The fact the newspapers use headlines such as "Crazied Stoner Kills", is due to the fact they want to scare the public. I'm sure Ian Huntly had the occasional drink, but alcohol had nothing to do with what he did. The only thing that makes a stoner crazy or mad is an empty packet of Rizlas.
So lets stop knife crime and light one up. See if you still want to kill someone after a few hits from the bong. Watch how you begin too not take life so serious, see politians cower as they notice you seeing threw the lies they push down your throat on a day to day basis.
Legalise Weed. Don't Get Stabbed!
This has left many stoners extrememly sober. And the pressures of society are starting to get to us. Reality is hard, and weed is a distraction. People say its addictive. WRONG. What's addictive is the feeling of relaxation that comes over you. Problems aren't has serious when you are stoned.
Cannabis becomes Class B, more people are getting stabbed. Coincedience? I think not. Less weed equals more violent crimes. Gordon Brown wants to stop knife crime, the silution is to legalise weed.
Imagine this young people (that are drawn into committing violent crimes) stoned. See in the number of stabbings and gun crimes go down. Watch them drop off the chart.
"But Ben, weed is a gateway drug!"
Is it? Is it really? I can name an endless about of drug users. Any idea what drug they used first? It wasn't weed, it was alcohol. Alcohol is THE gateway drug. But it's fine because alcohol is legal, so using that logic it's fine for weed to be a gateway drug, if it is legalised.
How many fights would take place in your town/city centre on a Friday night if everyone was stoned ... alot less than there is now, while everyone is pissed up beyond belief. Did you know that of all the violent crimes committed in this country, almost half of the offenders are under the influence of alcohol at the time (Thanks to Sky One's Street Wars for that information)?
"But Ben, weed causes cancer!"
So? Tobacco causes cancer. Alcohol causes so much internal damage to the body. Step out your front door and take a breath of fresh car exhaust fumes, mmmm healthy. The sun causes skin cancer, is anyone going to ban the sun? In a country where we are free to kill ourselves with drink, salty foods and sunlight, what more harm is a plant going to do?
"But Ben, cannabis sends its users crazy!"
The propaganda of Reefer Madness makes people think that weed sends you crazy. If so why aren't there more crazy people in the world. Do you know how many people are smoking weed? The fact the newspapers use headlines such as "Crazied Stoner Kills", is due to the fact they want to scare the public. I'm sure Ian Huntly had the occasional drink, but alcohol had nothing to do with what he did. The only thing that makes a stoner crazy or mad is an empty packet of Rizlas.
So lets stop knife crime and light one up. See if you still want to kill someone after a few hits from the bong. Watch how you begin too not take life so serious, see politians cower as they notice you seeing threw the lies they push down your throat on a day to day basis.
Legalise Weed. Don't Get Stabbed!
Sunday, 13 July 2008
21 Ways to Kill the Youth of Today
Here is a list of ways to kill my generation, it's a handy guide for the older generations that have grown tired with people of my age ruining this proud and great country.
5 Ways to kill Chavs.
1) End the production and distrobution of Fosters/Stella larger. This will result in mass suicide.
2) Drop the tax of ciggeretts, this will make them cheaper, so Chavs will buy more with their dole money, which will increase the chance of lung cancer, resulting in death.
3) Poke holes in cheap condoms, now their are a few Chavs that do use condoms, but cheap ones. So making the cheap condoms useless, STI will spread and more Chavs will catch AIDs and result in more deaths.
4) Give them money! Yes, give them money! They'll take that money, buy some smack and OD!
5) Leave your car unlocked, this makes it easier to steal, joyride and eventually crash causing death for the driver.
5 Ways to kill Emos.
6) Give away a noose with every album by Funeral For A Friend, let them kill themselves.
7) Give away a knife with every album by My Chemical Romance, let them kill themselves.
8) Give away a bottle of sleeping pills and a bottle of Jack Daniels with every album by Taking Back Sunday, let them kill themselves.
9) Give away a car, a garage and a hosepipe with every album by Madina Lake, let them kill themselves.
10) Give me a gun and a licence to kill.
5 Ways to kill Wiggers
11) Tell 50 Cent that he was dissed by one of them. He'll take it from their.
12) Ask them to explain who the Suger Hill Gang are and watch their head explode.
13) Give them a gun and watch themselves Cheddar Bob themselves right in the head.
14) Tell them that Underground hip hop is better than Gangsta rap in everyway, shape and form then watch as they shout, scream and threaten you untul they run out of breath and die from lack of oxygen.
15) Send them to an American ghetto that they hear so much about and watch them get beaten to death.
5 Ways to kill Students
16) Ask them to explain what happened in their last lecture. This will cause good students to have a brain hemorrhage trying to explain it, and bad students to have a brain hemorrhage trying to remember.
17) Stop day-time TV. Without this a student may think the end of the world has come and their is no reason to live.
18) Make beans more expensive. This will leave students without their standard diet, causing many to die from starvation.
19) Make acid legal. More acid means more acid trips, more trips means more students thinking they can fly off the top of buildings.
20) Make turning up to University compulsory. Miss one lecture and they're off the course. This will lead students back home and they will become Chavs, Emos, Wiggas ... and can be dealt with accordingly.
And finally ...
21) Keep doing whatever it is you're doing, because everytime I pick up the newspaper I read about some teen or person in his/her early 20's being dead. Pat yourself on the fucking back!
5 Ways to kill Chavs.
1) End the production and distrobution of Fosters/Stella larger. This will result in mass suicide.
2) Drop the tax of ciggeretts, this will make them cheaper, so Chavs will buy more with their dole money, which will increase the chance of lung cancer, resulting in death.
3) Poke holes in cheap condoms, now their are a few Chavs that do use condoms, but cheap ones. So making the cheap condoms useless, STI will spread and more Chavs will catch AIDs and result in more deaths.
4) Give them money! Yes, give them money! They'll take that money, buy some smack and OD!
5) Leave your car unlocked, this makes it easier to steal, joyride and eventually crash causing death for the driver.
5 Ways to kill Emos.
6) Give away a noose with every album by Funeral For A Friend, let them kill themselves.
7) Give away a knife with every album by My Chemical Romance, let them kill themselves.
8) Give away a bottle of sleeping pills and a bottle of Jack Daniels with every album by Taking Back Sunday, let them kill themselves.
9) Give away a car, a garage and a hosepipe with every album by Madina Lake, let them kill themselves.
10) Give me a gun and a licence to kill.
5 Ways to kill Wiggers
11) Tell 50 Cent that he was dissed by one of them. He'll take it from their.
12) Ask them to explain who the Suger Hill Gang are and watch their head explode.
13) Give them a gun and watch themselves Cheddar Bob themselves right in the head.
14) Tell them that Underground hip hop is better than Gangsta rap in everyway, shape and form then watch as they shout, scream and threaten you untul they run out of breath and die from lack of oxygen.
15) Send them to an American ghetto that they hear so much about and watch them get beaten to death.
5 Ways to kill Students
16) Ask them to explain what happened in their last lecture. This will cause good students to have a brain hemorrhage trying to explain it, and bad students to have a brain hemorrhage trying to remember.
17) Stop day-time TV. Without this a student may think the end of the world has come and their is no reason to live.
18) Make beans more expensive. This will leave students without their standard diet, causing many to die from starvation.
19) Make acid legal. More acid means more acid trips, more trips means more students thinking they can fly off the top of buildings.
20) Make turning up to University compulsory. Miss one lecture and they're off the course. This will lead students back home and they will become Chavs, Emos, Wiggas ... and can be dealt with accordingly.
And finally ...
21) Keep doing whatever it is you're doing, because everytime I pick up the newspaper I read about some teen or person in his/her early 20's being dead. Pat yourself on the fucking back!
Why I Hate Rappers.
It has come to my attention that there is an overwhelming amount of anti-emo matterial on my Blog, and I just want to say that I in no way hate emo kids. This is all in fun, I do not mean to cause insult to already unstable young minds that will one day be employed by me, to clean my pool. This is all just for fun ... although emo kids have no grasp of fun ... only joking children. I'm sure self-harming is a blast (well it would be if a shotgun was incorporated).
Damn! The purpose of this Blog was not to make fun of emo kids, but to attack some of my idols; rappers!
Fuck stupid fuckers! Fuck them like you're a G-Unit groupie!
What I hate, and I can't stress this enough; What I HATE about rappers is they're so idiotic. Let me break it down for you.
Two main subjects that rappers talk about are their love for committing crimes and their hate for police, which go hand in hand. But when the latest chart topping rapper (and I use the term rapper losely here) is stopped by the police they cause a massive fuss. Is it racism? Are these white cops jealous of a black man making some money? No. If you always talk about the crimes you commit, that is an INVITE for police to pull you over. Twat! Think about it, if someone was walking around town telling anyone who would listen that he sold crack, the the police turn up at their door wanting to search his home, would you really be surprised? No, you wouldn't. 99% of rappers smoke weed (that's just an educated guess), so when they are pulled over by the police almost everytime weed is found. This is policing 101! Basic stuff. If you're a cop and you see Snoop Dogg drive passed, pull him over, get his weed, head back to the station and brag about how you pulled over and arrested a millionaire. Simple.
What I also HATE is the fact that rappers brag about selling crack. Selling crack in no way shape or form is cool. Selling crack is about as cool as smoking crack ... and I know no cool crackheads. A typical rapper often glorfies selling crack but then complains that crackheads live in his 'hood', I wounder why, you fucking fool, put two and two together.
I also hate that; "I had to sell crack, I'm not proud of it, I had to do it to feed my kid". Look, there's plenty of stuff I've done that I'm not proud of, like shagging some ugly girls, but I don't tell everyone over and over again. Why? Because I'm embarrassed by it, so I keep it to myself (apart from now, but I needed an example).
Then comes the classic arguement; "It's art!" Bullshit! Yeah, it's art when you come under fire from the media or whoever, but when another rapper questions you're credibility all of that talk of it being 'Art' goes out the window; "I'll fuck you up, I'm gangsta!!" Blah, blah, fucking blah!
This is nothing artistic about bragging about distrobution of drugs that ruin communtities and lives, sorry. It's about as artistic as Joseph Fritzl imprisoning and raping his daughter.
Damn! The purpose of this Blog was not to make fun of emo kids, but to attack some of my idols; rappers!
Fuck stupid fuckers! Fuck them like you're a G-Unit groupie!
What I hate, and I can't stress this enough; What I HATE about rappers is they're so idiotic. Let me break it down for you.
Two main subjects that rappers talk about are their love for committing crimes and their hate for police, which go hand in hand. But when the latest chart topping rapper (and I use the term rapper losely here) is stopped by the police they cause a massive fuss. Is it racism? Are these white cops jealous of a black man making some money? No. If you always talk about the crimes you commit, that is an INVITE for police to pull you over. Twat! Think about it, if someone was walking around town telling anyone who would listen that he sold crack, the the police turn up at their door wanting to search his home, would you really be surprised? No, you wouldn't. 99% of rappers smoke weed (that's just an educated guess), so when they are pulled over by the police almost everytime weed is found. This is policing 101! Basic stuff. If you're a cop and you see Snoop Dogg drive passed, pull him over, get his weed, head back to the station and brag about how you pulled over and arrested a millionaire. Simple.
What I also HATE is the fact that rappers brag about selling crack. Selling crack in no way shape or form is cool. Selling crack is about as cool as smoking crack ... and I know no cool crackheads. A typical rapper often glorfies selling crack but then complains that crackheads live in his 'hood', I wounder why, you fucking fool, put two and two together.
I also hate that; "I had to sell crack, I'm not proud of it, I had to do it to feed my kid". Look, there's plenty of stuff I've done that I'm not proud of, like shagging some ugly girls, but I don't tell everyone over and over again. Why? Because I'm embarrassed by it, so I keep it to myself (apart from now, but I needed an example).
Then comes the classic arguement; "It's art!" Bullshit! Yeah, it's art when you come under fire from the media or whoever, but when another rapper questions you're credibility all of that talk of it being 'Art' goes out the window; "I'll fuck you up, I'm gangsta!!" Blah, blah, fucking blah!
This is nothing artistic about bragging about distrobution of drugs that ruin communtities and lives, sorry. It's about as artistic as Joseph Fritzl imprisoning and raping his daughter.
Friday, 11 July 2008
What's Been Happening This Week (7th - 13th July)
- Iran has test fired Missiles!!! Ahhhhh! Don't worry people, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is only targetting American-funded-Occupationists Israel and US Military bases in the Gulf. Seems strange to me that Bush hasn't sent the troops in yet. American politians Condoleezza Rice and John McCain (the next non-black president) are both chatting about "America's missile shield". This isn't Bush's America... Why aren't they sending troops in already. Anyway, what is the point of having a missile shield for America, the missiles cannot reach America, I'm not going to buy and wear a bullet-proof vest because someone on the other side of the Earth is trying to kill me. Even if this person, that wants me dead, is randomly firing bullets to the sky, hoping they'll travel half the way around the world and hit me, going to scare me into buying a bullet-proof vest? No, it's bloody not. It's my guess that Halliburton are branching out into making missile shields.
- Some British slag is facing jail in Dubai becuase she was pissed up and shagging some bloke on the beach. When arrested (it is claimed) she also attacked the officer. This is more anti-Muslim propaganda, to shock the British public, but I'm sorry, if you're in another country and you break their laws you should pay the costs. Personally, it's about time dirty slags start getting time in jail. Fuck them dirty hoes ... metaphorically of course, you don't want some STI.
- Amy Crackhouse update! Another week, another few stories on Amy Crackhouse. Amy Crackhouse is now adicted too ... Sunbeds!! If the drugs and alcohol don't kill you, the sunbeds will! Also her husband Blake Thingy-Ma-Bob was pictured smoking smack in jail. The first questions are "How does he find drugs in jail?", but I'm wondering why didn't he notice the other person in the cell with him, why didn't he notice his cellmate had a camera-phone, how did his cellmate get a camera-phone, how did his cellmate get the photo to the tabloids?????
- Man United's star player Ronaldo wants to move clubs. Now this story has been going on for a while. Ron wants to go to Real Madrid, Fergie wants him to stay. Oh, the drama! At one point Sir Alex said he'd keep Ronaldo on the bench until he learned to respect the club. Good move Fergie, stop him from playing, but keep paying him a bucket load of cash, that's an own goal (check the football reference). If he wants to go, let him go. You have plenty of other decent players. Seems like Fergie's scared of Big Phil and the massive budget he has. If Ronaldo leave United, put your good earned money on Chelsea for the champs next season.
- Some British slag is facing jail in Dubai becuase she was pissed up and shagging some bloke on the beach. When arrested (it is claimed) she also attacked the officer. This is more anti-Muslim propaganda, to shock the British public, but I'm sorry, if you're in another country and you break their laws you should pay the costs. Personally, it's about time dirty slags start getting time in jail. Fuck them dirty hoes ... metaphorically of course, you don't want some STI.
- Amy Crackhouse update! Another week, another few stories on Amy Crackhouse. Amy Crackhouse is now adicted too ... Sunbeds!! If the drugs and alcohol don't kill you, the sunbeds will! Also her husband Blake Thingy-Ma-Bob was pictured smoking smack in jail. The first questions are "How does he find drugs in jail?", but I'm wondering why didn't he notice the other person in the cell with him, why didn't he notice his cellmate had a camera-phone, how did his cellmate get a camera-phone, how did his cellmate get the photo to the tabloids?????
- Man United's star player Ronaldo wants to move clubs. Now this story has been going on for a while. Ron wants to go to Real Madrid, Fergie wants him to stay. Oh, the drama! At one point Sir Alex said he'd keep Ronaldo on the bench until he learned to respect the club. Good move Fergie, stop him from playing, but keep paying him a bucket load of cash, that's an own goal (check the football reference). If he wants to go, let him go. You have plenty of other decent players. Seems like Fergie's scared of Big Phil and the massive budget he has. If Ronaldo leave United, put your good earned money on Chelsea for the champs next season.
Sunday, 6 July 2008
What's Been Happening This Week (30th June - 6th July)
Welcome to my new thing I'm adding to my Blog. I'm currently getting struck with writers block, my doctors told me I'll be fine eventually, but writers block has been going around for the last month or so. Anyway, here is "What's Been Happening This Week", a write up by none other than Ben Broughton. You'll never need to buy a newspaper again, because I'll look through them then give you all the information you need, so here's what's been happening ...
- Well on TV we've had the Tennis and Big Brother, so that's two channels that I haven't been watching, maybe next year all the Tennis stars can live in the Big Brother house and play tennis, but it doesn't matter who wins, becuase the viewer (no typo there, I mean one viewer) will vote out which tennis stars he/she doesn't like. This is likely to give the British an edge.
- Amy Winehouse is back in the news... by "back in the news", I really mean "still in the news". But now why? Becuase her smackhead boyfriend/husband/person she shoots up with has been writing letters from prison. We all now know that the tabloids HAVE to write a story on Amy Crackhouse every-single-day, let's face it, Joe Public knows more about her life than she does. Of couse it's all a countdown until she overdoses, but that could take sometime. But luckily, she lives in London, so she'll probably get killed in a random stabbing in the next few weeks.
- Police have given up looking for Madeleine MacCann, but her parents are more bothered that they will remain suspects forever (coughguiltyconsciencecough). Maybe they should be more bothered about the police giving up hope. I mean, anyone with half a brain knows it's likely this girls been dead for a long time, probably afew days after she was 'kidnapped', if she was infact kidnapped. The quote from The Sun read; "The couple - currently on holiday without Maddie - vowed they would NEVER give up the hunt for their missing daughter, even if the cops do." They will never, give up, but they'll take a fucking holiday from hunting, only 14 months after their daughter goes missing. If I had a child 'kidnapped' while on holiday I think that would put me off going on holiday for a long time, if not ever again. And I'm quite sure Mr McCann was asking the public months back to help find Maddie. Hold on mate, I have bills and shit to pay. Yeah, you've killed ... I mean you've lost your daughter and you want me to put money in my pocket for you. I feel bad for you, I really do. But I'm not here to pay for you're fucking holiday!
- Petrol prices are getting higher than Amy Crackhouse (see me for the sickest similies ever!). And the newspapers are claiming food prices are also spiraling up, but everytime I walk into Morrisons, ASDA or an other supermarket all I see is "Half Price!", "Buy you get one Free", "Buy two get one Free", "Just put this in your pocket and walk out", so don't fall victim to the bullshit. Yes petrol costs more, food doesn't. You're family is not going to starve because you can't afford food. You might have to catch the bus to get your shopping, but you'll still be able to get the same amount of food for the same price, don't get emo and hang yourself in your garage.
- Prince William 'helped' bust some coke dealers with the Navy in Barbados. There's more to this story in my opinion. Wills was probably in Barbados partying, and happened to get involved by accident. The coke was probably heading to Barbados for Wills mate Tom Parker Bowles anyway.
- More celeb news. Madonna and Guy Ritchie were going to get a divorce at the start of the week, but by the end they weren't. Wow, exciting stuff. Here's my marrage advice; Madonna spend less time making shitty songs and more time washing the dishes! Guy hasn't made a decent film for time and she hasn't made decent music for longer ... maybe a divorce is a good idea, I liked Lock Stock ... and Snatch.
- Well on TV we've had the Tennis and Big Brother, so that's two channels that I haven't been watching, maybe next year all the Tennis stars can live in the Big Brother house and play tennis, but it doesn't matter who wins, becuase the viewer (no typo there, I mean one viewer) will vote out which tennis stars he/she doesn't like. This is likely to give the British an edge.
- Amy Winehouse is back in the news... by "back in the news", I really mean "still in the news". But now why? Becuase her smackhead boyfriend/husband/person she shoots up with has been writing letters from prison. We all now know that the tabloids HAVE to write a story on Amy Crackhouse every-single-day, let's face it, Joe Public knows more about her life than she does. Of couse it's all a countdown until she overdoses, but that could take sometime. But luckily, she lives in London, so she'll probably get killed in a random stabbing in the next few weeks.
- Police have given up looking for Madeleine MacCann, but her parents are more bothered that they will remain suspects forever (coughguiltyconsciencecough). Maybe they should be more bothered about the police giving up hope. I mean, anyone with half a brain knows it's likely this girls been dead for a long time, probably afew days after she was 'kidnapped', if she was infact kidnapped. The quote from The Sun read; "The couple - currently on holiday without Maddie - vowed they would NEVER give up the hunt for their missing daughter, even if the cops do." They will never, give up, but they'll take a fucking holiday from hunting, only 14 months after their daughter goes missing. If I had a child 'kidnapped' while on holiday I think that would put me off going on holiday for a long time, if not ever again. And I'm quite sure Mr McCann was asking the public months back to help find Maddie. Hold on mate, I have bills and shit to pay. Yeah, you've killed ... I mean you've lost your daughter and you want me to put money in my pocket for you. I feel bad for you, I really do. But I'm not here to pay for you're fucking holiday!
- Petrol prices are getting higher than Amy Crackhouse (see me for the sickest similies ever!). And the newspapers are claiming food prices are also spiraling up, but everytime I walk into Morrisons, ASDA or an other supermarket all I see is "Half Price!", "Buy you get one Free", "Buy two get one Free", "Just put this in your pocket and walk out", so don't fall victim to the bullshit. Yes petrol costs more, food doesn't. You're family is not going to starve because you can't afford food. You might have to catch the bus to get your shopping, but you'll still be able to get the same amount of food for the same price, don't get emo and hang yourself in your garage.
- Prince William 'helped' bust some coke dealers with the Navy in Barbados. There's more to this story in my opinion. Wills was probably in Barbados partying, and happened to get involved by accident. The coke was probably heading to Barbados for Wills mate Tom Parker Bowles anyway.
- More celeb news. Madonna and Guy Ritchie were going to get a divorce at the start of the week, but by the end they weren't. Wow, exciting stuff. Here's my marrage advice; Madonna spend less time making shitty songs and more time washing the dishes! Guy hasn't made a decent film for time and she hasn't made decent music for longer ... maybe a divorce is a good idea, I liked Lock Stock ... and Snatch.
Ban Emo Music, Save Lives!
Over the years my favourite genre of music has constantly been attacked for being too violent and causing Urban kids to commit acts of crime on each other, such as shootings or stabbings. And despite logical reponses to these claims it happens again and again. So in the fight to stop the Media and Politians using Hip Hop as a scapegoat for problems which happen because of many other factors, poverty being the main one in my opinion, the state of our society being another, I have decided to launch an attack on another genre of music. The best defence is a strong offence, is my reasoning. So here I go ...
Ban emo music! Ban that shit!
If a black youth stabs another black youth, it's Hip Hop's fault! Why? Because the stabber probably listened to Hip Hop. If some whiney emo kid kills himself. Who gets the blame? In most cases I find that it's the fault of the people that bully them, most of the time, these bullies are leaving hateful messages on Bebo or MySpace. If only there was some way to BLOCK these bullies!
This is the biggest loads of bullshit ever!
Almost everyone, at some in their school life gets bullied. I did. Most of the time you find it's the easy targets; the fat kids, the ginger kids and the fat ginger kids. But lets face it, the rich get bullied because they're rich, the poor get bullied becuase they're poor. It's never ending. Emo kids get bullied mainly because of the way they dress. All black, dark make up, they're fucking setting themselves up to get bullied, they may aswell wear a sandwich board with "Please make fun of me" written on it. If I was a bully and I saw some boy wearing make up, of course I'm going to pick on him.
I in no way support bullies. As I've said before, I was bullied as a kid. What happened, a bigger kid started to bully my bully! Problem solved.
But I'm kinda moving away from the point I'm trying to make. These emo kids get over-emotional over the littlest things, and I'm sorry, if you can't cope now, you'll never be ready for the real world, as the saying goes, it's survival of the fittest.
So get rid of this emo music so these emo kids stop killing themselves. At least (if you go with what the Media/Politicians say) if a Hip Hop fan gets picked on he'll kill the bully, which means one less bully in the world. Give that motherfucker a medal!
Plus I'm also sick of the sight of emo kids gathered in the middle of Derby. A few years ago, in my hometown of Sutton-in-TrAshfield, it was Chav's that gathered in town, but they'd at least be drinking and smoking, and looked they were enjoying themselves, even if they did throw verbal abuse it me on most occasions. But these emos in town just seem dull and bored. For fuck sake, buy a CD with some decent music and cheer yourself up!
So ban emo music, and do everyone a fucking favour!
Hip Hop 4 Life, Beeeeeeeeeeeeyatchs!!
Ban emo music! Ban that shit!
If a black youth stabs another black youth, it's Hip Hop's fault! Why? Because the stabber probably listened to Hip Hop. If some whiney emo kid kills himself. Who gets the blame? In most cases I find that it's the fault of the people that bully them, most of the time, these bullies are leaving hateful messages on Bebo or MySpace. If only there was some way to BLOCK these bullies!
This is the biggest loads of bullshit ever!
Almost everyone, at some in their school life gets bullied. I did. Most of the time you find it's the easy targets; the fat kids, the ginger kids and the fat ginger kids. But lets face it, the rich get bullied because they're rich, the poor get bullied becuase they're poor. It's never ending. Emo kids get bullied mainly because of the way they dress. All black, dark make up, they're fucking setting themselves up to get bullied, they may aswell wear a sandwich board with "Please make fun of me" written on it. If I was a bully and I saw some boy wearing make up, of course I'm going to pick on him.
I in no way support bullies. As I've said before, I was bullied as a kid. What happened, a bigger kid started to bully my bully! Problem solved.
But I'm kinda moving away from the point I'm trying to make. These emo kids get over-emotional over the littlest things, and I'm sorry, if you can't cope now, you'll never be ready for the real world, as the saying goes, it's survival of the fittest.
So get rid of this emo music so these emo kids stop killing themselves. At least (if you go with what the Media/Politicians say) if a Hip Hop fan gets picked on he'll kill the bully, which means one less bully in the world. Give that motherfucker a medal!
Plus I'm also sick of the sight of emo kids gathered in the middle of Derby. A few years ago, in my hometown of Sutton-in-TrAshfield, it was Chav's that gathered in town, but they'd at least be drinking and smoking, and looked they were enjoying themselves, even if they did throw verbal abuse it me on most occasions. But these emos in town just seem dull and bored. For fuck sake, buy a CD with some decent music and cheer yourself up!
So ban emo music, and do everyone a fucking favour!
Hip Hop 4 Life, Beeeeeeeeeeeeyatchs!!
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